Following on from the discussion of my translation project, I thought it might be nice to seek some feedback as to how to go about translating. A few days ago I made a quick translation of the Dhammacakkapavattana Sutta, and now I’ve tidied that up a little and present it here.
It is an example of the approach I am working on, to try to make the renderings more explicit and comprehensible. For example, where Bhikkhu Bodhi has
the Tathagata has awakened to the middle way
I have
woke up by understanding the middle way
because we don’t really use “awakened to” in that way. (Also notice that he renders the same root “bodhi” as “enlightened” in the same sentence; I keep both as “awakening”.)
I have also left out most of the repetitions. This is the number one issue that people mention when they say that reading the suttas is hard: repetitions. Saying the same thing over and over again. And then repeating yourself. And covering old ground in the same way…
Repetition is great in recitation; in fact when chanting you have exactly the opposite emotional response to repetition than you do when reading. When you read, repetitions create grit, resistance, boredom; but when reciting, they create space, ease, a chance to relax and reflect. So we can reproduce the linguistic structure if we like; but at the expense of creating a very different emotional context.
I’ve also used some more modern vocabulary; “galaxy” is the actual word we use in English for a whole bunch of stars, not “world-system”.
Anyway, see if you like, and give me some feedback!
##SN56.11 The Rolling Forth of the Wheel of the Dhamma
At one time the Buddha was staying at Benares, in the Deer Park at Isipatana. There he addressed the group of five monastics:
“Monastics, these two extremes should not be practiced by one gone forth. What two? Indulgence in sensual pleasures, which is low, crass, ignorant, ignoble, and pointless; and indulgence in self-mortification, which is painful, ignoble, and pointless.
Avoiding these two extremes, the Truthful One woke up by understanding the middle way, which gives vision and knowledge, and leads to peace, to direct knowledge, to awakening, and to quenching.
And what is that middle way? It is this noble eightfold path; that is:
- right view,
- right motivation,
- right speech,
- right action,
- right livelihood,
- right effort,
- right mindfulness,
- right samādhi.
The Truthful One woke up by understanding this middle way, which gives vision and knowledge, and leads to peace, to direct knowledge, to awakening, and to quenching.
This is the noble truth of suffering: birth is suffering, old age is suffering, sickness is suffering, death is suffering, being close to those you dislike is suffering, being separated from those you love is suffering, not getting what you want is suffering. To sum up, the five grasping aggregates are suffering.
This is the noble truth of the origin of suffering: the craving that leads to another life, bound up with relishing and desire, which finds pleasure in this or that state of existence; that is, desire for sensual pleasures, desire to be reborn, and desire for annihilation.
This is the noble truth of the ending of suffering: the complete fading away and ending of that very same craving; giving up, letting go, release, and non-attachment.
This is the noble truth of the practice leading to the ending of suffering: it is this noble eightfold path; that is:
- right view,
- right motivation,
- right speech,
- right action,
- right livelihood,
- right effort,
- right mindfulness,
- right samādhi.
‘This is the noble truth of suffering’: vision arose, knowledge arose, understanding arose, realization arose, light arose, regarding these principles that were not learned from another.
‘This noble truth is that suffering should be fully known’ …
‘This noble truth is that suffering has been fully known’ …
‘This is the noble truth of the origin of suffering’ …
‘This noble truth is that the origin of suffering should be abandoned’ …
‘This noble truth is that the origin of suffering has been abandoned’ …
‘This is the noble truth of the ending of suffering’ …
‘This noble truth is that the ending of suffering should be witnessed’ …
‘This noble truth is that the ending of suffering has been witnessed’ …
‘This is the noble truth of the practice leading to the ending of suffering’ …
‘This noble truth is that the practice leading to the ending of suffering should be developed’ …
‘This noble truth is that the practice leading to the ending of suffering has been developed’: vision arose, knowledge arose, understanding arose, realization arose, light arose, regarding these principles that were not learned from another.
As long as my verified knowledge and vision was not completely clear regarding these four noble truths, with their three rounds and twelve aspects, I did not declare that I had woken up in this world with its gods, Māras, and Brahmas, with its ascetics and priests, in this population with its princes and people.
But when my verified knowledge and vision was completely clear regarding these four noble truths, with their three rounds and twelve aspects, then I declared that I had woken up in this world with its gods, Māras, and Brahmas, with its ascetics and priests, in this population with its princes and people.
Knowledge and vision arose in me: ‘My liberation is unshakeable; this is my final birth; now there are no future lives.’”
This is what the Buddha said. Glad at heart, the group of five monastics were pleased with what he said.
And as this explanation was being spoken, the stainless, immaculate vision of the Dhamma arose in Venerable Koṇḍañña: “Whatever has a beginning, all that must have an end.”
When the Wheel of Dhamma was set rolling forth by the Buddha, the Earth Gods sent forth this cry: “In Benares, in the Deer Park at Isipatana, the Buddha has set rolling forth the Wheel of the Dhamma, which cannot be stopped by any ascetic or priest or god or Māra or Brahma or by anyone in the world.”
Hearing the cry of the Earth Gods, the Gods of the Four Great Kings sent forth the same cry. Hearing the cry of the Gods of the Four Great Kings, the Gods of the Thirty-Three… the Yāma gods … the Tusita gods … the Gods who Enjoy Creating … the Gods who Enjoy the Creations of Others … the Gods of Brahma’s retinue sent forth this cry: “In Benares, in the Deer Park at Isipatana, the Buddha has set rolling forth the Wheel of the Dhamma, which cannot be stopped by any ascetic or priest or god or Māra or Brahma or by anyone in the world.”
At that moment, in that instant, the sound soared up to the Brahma realm. And this galaxy shook and rocked and quaked; and an infinite, beautiful light appeared in the world, surpassing the glory of the gods.
And the Buddha was inspired to say this: “Koṇḍañña understands! Koṇḍañña understands!” That is how Venerable Koṇḍañña got the name “Koṇḍañña who Understands”.
Very easy to read and concise rendering.
I have feeling he’ll love this since he has a strong inclination towards the Bhagava.
). The Buddha did warn about a person getting caught up in the way they sound when chanting and deviates from the purpose of drawing inspiration.
. Is this a good way to approach chanting?
Perhaps “crass” would be better; in fact, let me put that in there!
