I came across this video on another forum. I found it useful for contemplating old age among other things hence i thought will share it here
Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed hearing Herbert’s reflections on the relative notions of the theory of life and the practice of life. He also reminded me to be very kind and patient with my own father, recently widowed after 60 years of marriage.
My father passed away in 2002 from kidney failure. He spent a big part of his life in the military, so he was a tough guy. He left this world with the least amount of complaints and did not want to share his pain with others. I often looked at my fathers way of dealing with old age, sickness and death as an ideal. There are no virtues of making things worse than they already are.
Now, my mother is 75. Unlike my father, she is more open about her feelings. She likes her kids to show care and to justify her feelings. Her role as a mother provides her with meaning. I often appear as cold and detached towards my mother, and i feel guilty for it.
Now, having to deal with my mother’s situation, it is not easy to answer whether my father was in denial, or my mother is too attached to her subjectivity. A similar question that is raised by Herbert in a different manner: there are no good reasons to be afraid of death, but most of us are still afraid of it. Which is more true, our own irrationality, or our limited ability to change it? or maybe the interaction between the two is what makes us what we are.