Hello Stefan!
It’s certainly not wrong to post here in the sense that you are doing something morally bad, but still an online forum is usually not a good place for discussing very personal questions, or questions about one’s personal practice, like this one, and it is not encouraged in the forum guidelines.
I would recommend contacting one of the senior monastics on this forum in a private message, and I am sure they are happy to respond.
Discussing questions like this with experienced practitioners will hopefully help you to proceed on the path and finally find that peace of nibbana that seems currently so confusing.