I’m a young college student (20 years old) and something I’ve encountered these last days was people doing a lot of stuff (working, taking care of their families, studying as well, hobbies and personal projects, and so on). And those people I encounter and interact with keep telling me the same; sometimes not directly, but sometimes directly. That is: “get used to this, as this is the adult life”. I understand we’re no longer kids and we cannot indulge in sensual pleasures all day without working, or preparing ourselves to get a profession. But, the idea of compromising to too much scares me a little bit; I wouldn’t like to be in the same burden of doing a lot of stuff non-stop.
My questions related to this topic are: Is it really true that we as adults have to do too much? If not, how can we reduce our stress and compromises and only focus on what really matters (like meditation and taking care here of the body and mind)?
Again, I’m not saying I want to escape reality and start indulging in sensual pleasures in excess; what I try to say is that, I wouldn’t like to compromise to too much (just taking care of my welfare, doing home duties, studying, and eventually working).
That’s all I have to say about the topic. Looking forward to hear from you.
No, it’s not true that adults have to do too much. It really varies from person to person. Looking at my friends’ kids, they often seem busier than I am.
When I was a university student 20 years ago, my schedule was intense. Getting only three to four hours of sleep each night was normal, but it wasn’t healthy.
As I encountered the Dhamma, I find that even with a full schedule, if we stop resisting what we don’t want to do and instead remain mindful, focusing on the breath and allowing it to soothe the mind, then our tasks become more manageable, even enjoyable. The energy I spent on resisting the task and the schedule wasn’t productive. Just a small shift in perspective and attitude, I could set myself in alignment with the Dhamma. I don’t always remember shifting my perspective though. So the tip is to set your intention before your busy day begins. Don’t resent your work for taking time from Dhamma practice. Dhamma is all of life itself.
By being 100% focus in my work, I usually begin to understand how my mind operates, how it reacts, and how habits are formed. For example, when I do some art and craft projects, I would notice the muscle memory developing in my fingers. Each small improvement gives me more joy and efficiency to my work. In cognitive neuroscience, they called it metacognition but I think it’s just Cittānupassanā. Our busy schedule essentially becomes our Satipatthana in action.
With the Dhamma at the core of my being, each day feels fresh with new perspectives. I can carry out my responsibilities while still enjoying life at the same time. I hope this helps and that you can enjoy being busy.
In some countries children are often asked, “What do you want to do when you grow up?” However, a much better question to focus on is “How do you want to live when you grow up?”
But just like most children would not be able to answer that question, young adults may not know the answer either, so they just start down a path that ties them into the world, often in ways that are difficult to untangle after some time.
There is, of course, privilege in being able to craft a life that aligns with your values.
Yes, we all agreed to be slaves for the machine so that profits keep rising no matter the consequences. Please dedicate your life! The corporations and billionaires are counting on you!!
Sorry for relying on sarcasm to make my point, but you are growing up into a world that is extremely deranged. The sooner you realize that the average person is completely crazy, the better imo
I think by developing your own good qualities. If you have a lot of love and compassion (for yourself and others) you’ll feel good about wherever you are and whatever you’re doing.
If you have the privilege to do so, I recommend using your twenties and especially undergraduate years to explore as widely as you can: different fields, different kinds of work, different topics, different lifestyles… Learn what is enjoyable and meaningful (and not!) to you and really pursue those leads.
As a teen, I took a job as a recording tech at a concert venue and got paid to listen to concerts. When I took my first computer circuitry class for my engineering degree, I couldn’t believe how lucky I was that playing with breadboards was my home “work.”
There are lots of cool and interesting jobs that need to be done in the world (citation: gestures broadly), you just have to put yourself out there and look for those opportunities and see what it is you like. That’s as much a process of learning about yourself as it is learning about the world.
The older you get, the harder it is to change careers etc, so I recommend you don’t wait until you’re 40 to have a midlife crisis. Have one now! Do ask those big questions: what is it all for? What’s the best thing I can do with this one human life? As a monk, you can maybe guess my answers to those questions. But the important thing is to ask them.
A valid concern, given the way life is for many! My take on it is that we care for what’s in front of us and deal with things as they present themselves.
One can, of course, try to live simply, give attention to the right things, and make wise choices. But life is unpredictable, and we have to be able to respond appropriately to all circumstances.
No use worrying too much about what might come later on, and it is much more skillful to put in place the causes necessary for a happy life, right now.
In Zen, there’s a magnificent saying, which is “The Way is easy if you just avoid picking and choosing”, which means something like “of course, life and practice will become difficult if you make everything about yourself, if you function just moved by discrimination, likes, dislikes, wants, judgments, rejection, etc”. It matches fantastically with the words found in many of the short poems found in the Aṭṭhakavagga like for example in the Purabheda Sutta, where the Buddha explain the life of a truly peaceful one, and mentions “they are not dependent on the past, not to be reckoned in the middle, for him there are no preferences. […]. “He is without attachment to the future; he does not sorrow over the past. As a seer of seclusion in the midst of contacts, he is not led astray among views.”
One cannot be a prisoner of the future, just as much as one can’t remain trapped in the past. Both are illusions.
I found this quote by Kodo Sawaki and I think it kind of addresses your question:
“Human beings are strange. Although we have an intelligent look, we are simply groping in darkness.
Human beings work diligently merely to avoid boredom.
There are too many things that attract us in this world. We want to do this and that. But once we experience or get these things, we find they’re nothing important.
There are people who never discover their own true way of life.”
Good day Venerable Khemarato. Thank you so much for your opinion; it has helped me a lot to discover things I didn’t know before.
Regarding your questions, I’d like to offer my answer on “what is that I want to do with this human life”. That is: exposing myself to unknown corners in order to unlock my full potential. Who do I do that? A good example of it is that I started selling candy at college (even though that scares me sometimes). That’s the best that comes to mind.
Anyway, thank you once again. May you be well and happy
Don’t worry. You can have a decent life of meditation as an adult too. After 8 hours of work as a hotel worker, and 1-2 hours of rest at home, I spend the rest of the day immersed in meditation. I don’t have a wife and kids and I don’t need them. These desires are getting away with the hep of my meditation.
Do ask those big questions: what is it all for? What’s the best thing I can do with this one human life? As a monk, you can maybe guess my answers to those questions. But the important thing is to ask them. 
