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There’s a variant reading in SN 1.24, where the more plausible one, adopted by Ven Bodhi, seems to be unmetrical? But I know little of Pali Metre so I’m hoping someone can help me out.
The line is:
Na mano saṁyatattamāgataṁ
That’s the MS reading. The variant per Bodhi is:
mano yatattam āgataṁ
Most lines in these verses have ten syllables, so on that basis it seems less likely. But like I said, I don’t really know. Any ideas?
Let me try me elementary attempt Bhante (attempting not because I’m qualified to answer, but to practice my metric knowledge):
If my reading is correct:
0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - (10)
Yato yato mano nivāraye,
0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - (10)
Na dukkhameti naṁ tato tato;
0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - (10)
Sa sabbato mano nivāraye,
0 - 0 - - - 0 - 0 - (10)
Sa sabbato dukkhā pamuccatī
0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - (10)
Na sabbato mano nivāraye,
0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - (8)
Mano yatattam āgataṁ
0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - (8)
Yato yato ca pāpakaṁ,
0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - 0 - (10)
Tato tato mano nivāraye
However:
0 0 - - 0 - 0 - 0 - (10)
Na mano saṁyatattamāgataṁ
Seems rather out of place. With Bhikkhu Bodhi’s variant, it’s 4x10 // 10-8-8-10, which seems more orderly than 10-10-8-10.
Ven. Anadajoti notes that there are 8-10-8-10 structures though. Bhikkhu Bodhi’s version at least matches the rest in syllable pattern.
I couldn’t find this exact pattern in Ven. Anadajoti’s tables, but it still seems quite orderly.
Ānandjoti, in his Outline of Meters, lists this as a rare unnamed meter:
Other Metres: there are 3 others which have not been named
He cites SN 1.14 as the attestation of it. This must be a typo for SN 1.24, meaning according to him this is the only sutta with this particular meter.
Reading a short first syllable on ‘dukkhā’ in line d as can happen sometimes in verse, the 10 syllable lines nearly match Rathoddhatā. The only difference seems to be that it does not have the initial syllable of a normal Rathoddhatā line. But clearly this is a form of mattacchandas.
It seems neither of the variants is conclusively satisfying, so probably it was corrupted and lost to time, but at least they match the regular cadence of the rest of the verse. The Bodhi variant has 12 measures like the following line, but this is still a deviation on both an odd and even line which is a bit odd for mattacchandas. I know it’s speculative, but if you just move the initial ‘na,’ it would match the preceding lines:
Mano na saṁyatattamāgataṁ
On the other hand, the variant per Bodhi gives a nice little jingle to the verse when chanted, twisting the original verse with the Buddha’s version, and concluding by settling back down into the regular, familiar rhythm of the common lines of the poems. The entire exchange is incredibly musical with its regular syncopation (a feature that can also occur in mattacchandas), and the two 12-measure lines contribute to that.
I would probably favor Bodhi’s reading, given that it offers a meter found in the next line, whereas the MS reading has to be moved around to make it fit. Here’s an attempt at chanting it (with poor audio quality):
Thanks, that’s really interesting! I’ll ask Ven Anandajoti if he has any advice, and let him know of the typo.
Speaking of Ratoddhatā and other uncommon meters, I usually check this YT channel (attached below). Unfortunately, this is entirely in Sanskrit, but one can get the gist of the meter breakup in the beginning, and the canonical “tune” it is recited in towards the latter part. The middle bit requires repeated listening for me. This teacher has an entire series on analysis of a whole lot of chhandas.
My point is, sometimes one can figure out missing syllables or corruptions or at least guess suitable additions/subtractions if the text is very close to a meter but not quite. Hope this helps.
I just heard back from Ven Anandajoti, FYI the number 1.14 is a page number, so it’s not a mistake.
Otherwise he doesn’t have a solution based on attested readings, but he suggests an unattested reading:
Mano ca saṁyatattam-āgataṁ
“if the mind is self-restrained”
I’m wondering if @cdpatton could help us out with the parallels?
This is the three parallels set side by side.
| SN 1.24 | SA 1281 | SA-2.279 |
|---|---|---|
| “Yato yato mano nivāraye, | 「決定以遮遮， | 「覺觀意欲來， |
| Na dukkhameti naṁ tato tato; | 意妄想而來， | 遮止應遮止， |
| Sa sabbato mano nivāraye, | 若人遮一切， | 一切盡遮止， |
| Sa sabbato dukkhā pamuccatī”ti. | 不令其逼迫。」 | 不造生死塵。」 |
| 「決定以遮遮， | 「覺觀意欲來， | |
| 意妄想而來， | 遮止應遮止， | |
| “Na sabbato mano nivāraye, | 不必一切遮， | 不應一切遮， |
| Na mano saṁyatattamāgataṁ; | 但遮其惡業。 | 但遮惡覺觀。 |
| Yato yato ca pāpakaṁ, | 遮彼彼惡已， | 惡惡應遮止， |
| Tato tato mano nivāraye”ti. | 不令其逼迫。」 | 遮止能遮止， |
| 若能如是者， | ||
| 不為生死遮。」 |
SA 1281 says, “Only block its (the mind’s) bad actions” and SA-2.279 says, “Only block bad tarka-cāra (?)”. Something like that. I guess they confirm that na isn’t there, but mano might be just left understood by the translators to save syllables in the verse. The Chinese term 遮 means to block, prohibit, or avoid something, so that would be the verb nivārayati instead of saṁyatatta. Seems like there was quite a bit of confusion that starts with that line because all three diverge quite a bit there.
The verse appears to be clear as it is, so not sure what Bodhi’s variant reading is meant to achieve.
Na sabbato mano nivāraye = Don’t restrain the mind from everything
Na mano saṁyatattam āgataṁ = The mind hasn’t attained perfect control (either) i.e. for it to be left completely unrestrained.
Yato yato ca pāpakaṁ = (So) only from the sources of sin -
Tato tato mano nivāraye = from them, the mind needs to be restrained.
Hmm, thanks!
Yes, I think you’re right. The opening Na mano doesn’t match the metre of the rest of the lines, but then, we can’t identify the metre anyway.