Very nice
If youâre open to feedback, there are a few things that came to mind for translation. These are minor, but they are also major as they are core doctrinal concepts that can be easily misunderstood with less accurate and out dated translations. If it is useful, here it is
four foundations of mindfulness
This translation is not an accurate representation of the suttas, as has been discussed and known for a while now. The short story is that âfoundationâ translates âpatthÄna,â which is one of the word-play etymologies given in the TheravÄda commentaries. But the actual undebatable etymology is from âupatthÄnaâ (âupatthitassati,â âsatim upatthapetva,â Skt. âsmrtyupasthÄna,â G, âspaážoáčÌhaáčaáčaâ). The more accurate rendering is probably âestablishingâ or âestablishment.â
Body ⊠feelings ⊠mind ⊠in and of itself
Ven. Sujatoâs translation is âan aspect of the body, feelings, mind âŠâ This is certainly the more obvious reading. If you want to know why, there has been writing about it here. But needless to say, satipatthana meditation is about picking an aspect of experience and meditating (i.e. continually observing/being mindful of it). Translations which try to explain the refrain as referring to anattÄ and what have you are influenced by later commentarial understandings of it as an insight practice.
craving for sensuality
I think this is not bad, but just wanted to point out that similar to âbecomingâ (see note below on that word), âsensualityâ seems to have the connotation of the pursuit of, indulgence in, desire for, etc. sensual pleasures. So it is more of an activity. We donât crave to pursue sensual pleasures, we just crave sensual pleasures. The craving then gives rise to the pursuit when we act on it. Likewise we donât crave for the process of becoming X, we crave to be X, and that leads us into the pursuit of that process. So I think âkÄma-tanhÄâ would better be rendered âcraving for sensual pleasures,â and âbhava tanhÄâ as âcraving for existence / craving to exist / craving for life,â etc.
âSensualityâ seems to be an ambiguous word though and I believe it has sometimes shifted in meaning in Buddhism. But usually when people use âsensualityâ even in Buddhist contexts they are referring to a mind state that values, pursues, or indulges in sensual pleasures. And so that would actually be the craving more than the sense pleasures themselves. Like âcraving for craving for sense pleasuresâ â which is not quite whatâs intended.
conceit or excessive pride (mana)
In English, âconceitâ does generally mean âexcessive pride.â The reason itâs used as a translation for mÄna because of its etymological relationship to âconceiveâ and âconcept.â In PÄli, mÄna means measuring oneself against others, either superior, inferior, or equal. So it is not just excessive pride, but also low self-esteem or a sense of oneself being equal to others (in terms of a sense of self).
Mind and matter
I would avoid translating ârĆ«paâ as âmatter.â This is another subtle conversation though.
Six Sense Bases
âBaseâ is another rendering of Äyatana which is not really an accurate translation as much as it is a translation of commentarial exegesis. A more accurate word is âdomain,â âfield,â etc. âSphereâ is sometimes used and is okay.
Clinging
See this post on for minimal explanation of how âclingingâ is not accurate for âupÄdÄna.â âGrasping,â âappropriation,â âuptake,â etc. are more accurate renderings.
Becoming
See this post here on why this is not a satisfying translation for âbhava.â Again, big translation decisions like these have had a lot of detailed discussion, so I wonât try and summarize here. But âexistence,â âcontinued existence,â or even âlifeâ are more accurate translations.
Dissatisfaction
âDissatisfactionâ is a mental state, emotion, or feeling. âDukkha,â however,â also applies to phenomena irrespective of oneâs mental reaction. It is often given with a list of synonyms in the suttas to help clarify its meaning and connotation: words given as synonyms are âmisery,â âaffliction,â âdart,â âtumor,â etc. See SN 22.31 for example where the four noble truths are taught, but instead of âdukkhaâ the word âaghaâ is used in its place, meaning âmisery,â âsuffering,â âwicked,â etc.
All the best