This is an excellent point. Not directly related to Rosies current example, but relevant in any case. Difference exists, and it is important not to pretend that it doesn’t, and to be slow in making judgments about other peoples’ motivations.
The other point is about expectations Expectations have caused a large percentage of the sufffering in my own life
Bold is mine
This is a pretty high expectation Unfortunately, the nature of samsara is such that this is not likely to be on offer very much at all. Apart from a very special few individuals, I’ve found acceptance, let alone love and support, are very conditional !
As Ajahn Brahm says pretty often - expect less and be disappointed less!
These expectations are part of our own conditioned beliefs about what things should be like… Eg the whole Disneyland, Princess lives happily ever-after thing is just designed to increase suffering by fostering completely delusional beliefs > expectations This is Samsara… a big pile of Hence the only non-delusional response to it is to want to leave it behind!!
In the mean-time, one attempts to seek out less :poop :'y circumstances in order to make this place more endurable.
@Rosie, I’m really sorry you have been hurt by this latest interaction in trying to find a sangha, where you feel comfortable. But there are little glimmers here and there, and appreciation of how special and rare they are is a cause for happiness. In the mean time, keep looking and take on board the range of strategies you may have to use, to start participating quietly, so that individuals get to know you first, before you test their ability to unconditionally accept everything about you