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Haiku: your biggest pet peeve about Buddhism

haiku
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#21

A chōka, hopefully not contrary to the intentions of the OP:

Pain without the pained
Deeds without their doing-man
Peace, naught a one calmed,
Not what is “wanted”, dreamt of,
Instead: peace & calm,
Deeds and the fame following
Cessation of pain
With the lingering of me
To enjoy it: what’s “wanted”.


#22

If this were a poetry slam you would get 0/10.


#23

Ants invade ruthless
Dragged pheromones tiny bums
Grease auras ignored


#24

Ok guys, this is officially the best thread ever.

As far as what’s wrong with Buddhism, to me there’s only really one problem, from which all others stem. I wrote some verses on this a while ago, and perhaps I may be forgiven for posting them here. Unfortunately, they are not haiku; that is much too refined for me. This is a country song!

He’s Not Comin’ Back

The Buddha’s in nibbana
but nibbana is no place.
He’s as present and accessible
as your own original face.

[CHORUS]
O, he’s not comin’ back!
He’s not comin’ back!
Though the days roll on and the nights grow long
he’s never comin’ back.

And still we have the scriptures
but we’re not quite sure what they mean.
We interpretate the Pali
like a philological dream.

[CHORUS]
O, he’s not comin’ back!
He’s not comin’ back!
Though the days roll on and the nights grow long
he’s never comin’ back.

We sit and try to meditate
and we hope that we got it right.
’Cos otherwise we’re rooted
when we sail into that night.

[CHORUS]
O, he’s not comin’ back!
He’s not comin’ back!
Though the days roll on and the nights grow long
he’s never comin’ back.


#25

What a great compliment, Ajahn. Thanks! :smiley:


#26

I think if Ajahn Chah could write a Haiku in English, it would go like this:

Mangy dogs fart, drool
Untamed minds, wild, disgraceful
Bonehead farang monks


#27

Vipassana, Metta,
Samatha meditations.
Some teach only one.


#28

I judge you people,
You are not an ascetic!
Who am I to judge?

Haiku about me daydreaming that every monastic should live like Maha-Kassapa; meanwhile I’m a lousy lay meditator full of raga, dosa, moha.


#29

The Changes of Life,
Momentary or Flowing?
Let go either way

:lotus:


#30

Haul water, chop wood
What’s an axe? A water pail?
Buddhism is doomed


#31

Old minor rules
One short question, never asked
Answer not within


#32

Why be negative
For no good reason at all?
This life has enough


#33

Empty ritual inscence burns, the master speaks but no one learns.

Sorry can’t ‘haiku’


#34

Howling at ghosts, tail in calm waters

turn around


#35

Competing theories
Dependent origination
Utter confusion! :yum:


#36

… dosa pancakes full of ragu sauced “moha” which for the purposes of this daydream is a curry. Ok now to the dictionary. Whatever the pali means, i set myself up… to remember.

edit. oh my. Excellent words to learn indeed. lol thank you very much Polarbear.


#37

Dhamma is still boss
Wether you like it or not
High-horsing pirates


#38

Sogyal torments them
His Khenpo condemns heroes
Mara on the throne


#39

Meditation guide
says jhanas in reach today.
When is lunch ready?


#40

"No need for jhāna!"
Tosh! No sammā samādhi,
No arahantship

Ha ha ha, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever used the word ‘tosh’! Just sprung to mind.