Listening to Luang Por Sumedho for years, I’ve several times heard him mention something about a Japanese equivalent for “Hell”, and shortly this is named as_no space_
And when contemplating this mysterious consept, I got a real sense for what that kind of hell would be like, and actually it’s Hellishness made me more uneasy than thinking about my good old christian warm as hell … 
After some months or more the mind put together these few experiences, and presented them for me to chew on:
In my childhood days i spent a few hours in solitude in my room, and in a very dark state of mind. My activity was to empty all of my rage, pain, despair and “i don’t know what …” into a silent pillow. The reason was that I felt tortured by my own closest family and totally trapped in this situation. I lacked the physical strength to fight for my self, so i always ended up loosing every god damn thing.
During those “meditations” I managed to make a very special darkness, where the mind itself became darkness, and then dark saw and experienced it self as dark.
I remember that feeling of being totally exhausted into darkness, and that this darkness is the opposite of our normal dark behind closed eyes. It was empty of all but a shell of me, and me was still and resting in pure black.
Later in professional life I came to know a certain person who was under treatment at my place of work in the public Health care. They told me about this person, that he was special for the reason of becoming “black” when he went into depressions. When i asked for more information about how “black” would look like for me as a provider of the daily care, they only said: it’s impossible to explain this, you have to see it to understand …
So one day this person came home from school, and we where alone in the house. I was in the kitchen preparing dinner, and I heard the door open and somebody moving towards me, but i didn’t turn around to see. Then the sound of a chair being pulled from the table, and somebody sitting down.
Now I stopped in my activity and looked straight into the wall in front of me silent, and there a black nimitta arised, and i just watched this in silence wondering about it for a few seconds. When I turned my head, I saw this young person sitting there, and yes, now I could see and understand, and the only words coming out of my mouth was: it’s heavy now …
And the person replied calmly “yes” …
This self made “Black hole” became later a center of gravity in the subconscious mind , where later bad feelings, intentions and deeds where put, and pressed firmly together. And when the pressure got to a certain point, the poison started to infect the whole of my mind, and i became being felt as possessed by a demon.
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