I am really curious how anger is managed in Buddhism. What do you do with the anger that you have inside? Do you just observe it and see that it is impermanent?
For instance, say you have a negative work enviroment or relationship, or whatever you could have. When this anger is present, how is it best dealt with skillfully?
There are practices (not Buddhist) like writing angry letters (without intention of showing it to anyone) or screaming into pillows etc. This will clear your anger when it has arisen, but how is this regarded in the long term? Is it like eating a pizza while feeling the urge to eat a pizza, yes, it will make the urge go away, but you have planted seeds of desire for more pizza?
I would love some input on this. Perhaps your own thoughts, book recommendations, discourses etc.
âMendicants, I do not see a single thing that prevents ill will from arising, or, when it has arisen, abandons it like the heartâs release by love. When you attend properly on the heartâs release by love, ill will does not arise, or, if it has already arisen, itâs given up.â
I think by cultivating metta, someone can prevent the anger from arising more often. Instead of expressing the anger (possibly this makes it grow), someone could try to direct the energy towards metta and make that grow instead.
Anger is special, i find. One can ignore or abandon it consciously and even feel that the anger is gone, but unconsciously it stays present in some destructive way if one does not really communicate about what is on your heart. If you do not, one day you will have high bloodpressure, develop bodily problems etc.
All those kilesaâs, such as anger, are a kind of heartaches. Buddha talked about this as a dart in the heart. If the dart is there, passions like anger arise. They are a sign of being wounded, hurt.
If we do not communicate about this hurt, this heartache will eat us from inside. It overcomes us.
We need an upright honest viewing of our heartache.
One can try to deal with anger by forcefully supressing it, ignoring it, changing the attention of ones mind, use a medicine like loving kindness, thinking about its negative side-effects etc. but i think it is better to talk about ones heartache.
Yes this is what I am gravitating to as well. I recently began doing metta meditation and it seems to create a sort of mind state where anger doesnât arise as easily.
But when the anger is present, I find that not expressing it feels like surpressing it, sort of. But then again, if I look at why I was angry - perhaps someone was rude, well then perhaps they had a really bad day because they had been through something horrible, and then my anger fades.
Its just such a powerful emotion, and it feels like it should be expressed when it is present! But in hindsight, it often seems like it would have been better not to I mean, writing an angry letter and burning it up, it harms no one else, but itâs sort of violating the precept of not using harsh or mean language
Itâs something I struggle with and find very interesting at the same time!
This is a good start. But if you go deep you will realize that anger or ill will is the second hindrance with the others being sensual desire, dullness and drowsiness, restlessness and remorse and doubt.
AvijjÄ Sutta AN 10.61 explains how the hindrances arise and how they can be overcome and reach liberation.
As you know, impermanence is only the first characteristic of all phenomena. Whatever is impermanent is unsatisfactory. And whatever is impermanent and unsatisfactory cannot be taken as âThis is mine, this I am, this is my selfâ.
We find this beautifully explained in Dhammapada Verses 277, 278 and 279
All formations are impermanentâ when this is seen with wisdom, one grows disillusioned with suffering: this is the path to purity.
All formations are sufferingâ when this is seen with wisdom, one grows disillusioned with suffering: this is the path to purity.
All things are not-selfâ when this is seen with wisdom, one grows disillusioned with suffering: this is the path to purity.
And Verses one and two of Dhammapada sums it all up.
All things are preceded by the mind, surpassed by the mind, created by the mind. If one speaks or acts with a corrupted mind, Then suffering follows, As a track follows a wheel.
All things are preceded by the mind, surpassed by the mind, created by the mind. If one speaks or acts with a pure mind, Then happiness follows, As a shadow that never leaves.
Hey guldfiskreborn, I tried to be as brief as possible with my other post, I see now it is a bit unclear. With expression I meant the ways you were describing it in the first post. Personally I totally agree with you that suppressing or denial is not helpful. And youâre not really going to be 100% without anger either - unless youâre an arahat, in the way I understand it. What works for me now is to be aware of the anger and trying to backtrack a little, where it started and why. That usually helps me to give it up. But of course, I get angry, today I was irritated for a few minutes about someone forgetting they had already met me. And as you described, the metta helps with putting it all into perspective.
You mentioned impermanence and when cultivated that allows detachment from conventional reality. This is an area of knowledge that has to be acquired in itself. With that the cycles of anger and desire as emotional defilements are able to be seen objectively- how they arise, reach a peak, and decline. With that view it is able to be clearly seen when to intervene and when not to. That is skillful action. That is another area that requires development. Of course most fall into the trap of intervening at the peak and that is wrong timing. Intervening at the right time often appears externally as patience, but itâs really understanding, there is no blind patience in Buddhism. Mostly the time to act is long after the actual incident and indirectly, but this requires belief in the action of kamma, and also understanding that non-action has material results. This is a third area requiring acquisition of knowledge through observation. In most cases the only way a situation can be skilfully manipulated is through the force of non-action. A certain amount of resistance is an inevitable dynamic of conditioned reality, so it needs to be positively directed.
A nun advising a layperson:
âIs resistance-obsession to be abandoned with regard to all painful feeling?â âNo.ââMN 44
I mean, writing an angry letter and burning it up, it harms no one else, but itâs sort of violating the precept of not using harsh or mean language 