Don’t be discouraged ![:grinning: :grinning:](https://discourse.suttacentral.net/images/emoji/twitter/grinning.png?v=9)
The fact that you found yourself on this forum and are asking such questions is already a good thing.
Speaking from my own experience, it’s only natural to be curious about such things when your knowledge of the teachings has not quite formed yet.
But if you stick with the path and be patient, it’s only natural that your understanding will naturally deepen over time.
I’m not claiming to be an expert BTW, but I can say that when I look a few years back, I see the natural progression in both knowledge and conduct.
I see there are already a few sutta references here so what’s another one? ![:face_with_raised_eyebrow: :face_with_raised_eyebrow:](https://discourse.suttacentral.net/images/emoji/twitter/face_with_raised_eyebrow.png?v=9)
With Vacchagotta on Fire
There’s a bit in the sutta that sounds a bit like your post:
“I fail to understand this point, Master Gotama; I’ve fallen into confusion.
And I’ve now lost even the degree of clarity I had from previous discussions with Master Gotama.”
“No wonder you don’t understand, Vaccha, no wonder you’re confused.
For this principle is deep, hard to see, hard to understand, peaceful, sublime, beyond the scope of logic, subtle, comprehensible to the astute."
“It’s hard for you to understand, since you have a different view, creed, preference, practice, and tradition.”
SPOILER ALERT
It’s got a happy ending
![:pray: :pray:](https://discourse.suttacentral.net/images/emoji/twitter/pray.png?v=9)