Is it me or is it you?

[BugzNZ]

Fairly new to this site and particularly to the discussion forum. I have to admit to being overwhelmed and anxious when posting. The respondents seem to be learned, well advanced, academic and /or technically gifted.

I wonder , as a lay person, whether I should take part in many of the discussions. Maybe I should just concentrate on the sutta’, practice, precepts, truths and paths. Maybe it’s a distraction? Maybe I should just do Q&A.

Does anyone else feel this or is it me? If it’s just me then I have work to do. If they’re others out there who can relate I would appreciate hearing from you. As it is a feeling I know I have a long Buddhist journey ahead of me.

Metta

In closing and with the deepest respect I offer Sn 4.8 PTS: Sn 824-834. This sums up how I sometimes feel.

[Adutiya]

Ah, don’t be intimidated or sheepish about posting or asking questions. I’ve been here for over 10 years and have stuck my foot in my mouth in a high percentage of my posts. The more I learn, the more I realize that, the more I know, the more I don’t know. I’m less interested in my “ego” or “self” and more interested in the fading away of dukkha. So I’ll ask questions and hope that the truly wise people will reply and that I’ll be able to tell the difference between the dhamma and what isn’t. Often, the simplest questions play out to be lively, valuable topics that help lots of people on the Noble Eightfold Path. The Buddha taught lay people directly and, no matter who they were, he met them on their level where they could understand and be inspired.

[StaresAtTrees]

Welcome to the community

Some people find it beneficial to participate in discussions from the get-go and others prefer to observe without direct participation. I think the choice is a very personal one and depends on how you learn best. If you’re finding that conversation engages you and provides opportunity for learning and fleshing out your understanding then it would seem beneficial.

Nobody is born an expert and developing proper understanding is critical and also challenging - we don’t have the Buddha in person to rely on his charisma and gift of teaching. And even back then it wasn’t uncommon to take months or years of contemplation on a teaching and returning to the Buddha or senior monastics to ask questions when appropriate to achieve a breakthrough.

[Alex70]

@BugzNZ Hi and welcome to the forum.

When I started here I felt very much the same. I thought people know more than me and that I shouldn’t ask or post. Then a tragedy (for me) happened and I started asking / posting and most people were so kind and thoughtful in their responses!

Today I think we all know something and we all contribute differently. There are many readers out there like you and they will benefit from your posts.

Others are more scholar like and they have their posters they appreciate.

We have space for everyone and welcome everyone warmly. We all can teach us something

With much metta

Alex

[Dheerayupa]

@BugzNZ

I offer Sn 4.8 PTS: Sn 824-834. This sums up how I sometimes feel.

Love the sutta!

Thanks!

[Dogen]

@BugzNZ

The respondents seem to be learned, well advanced, academic and /or technically gifted.

The good news is, the best way to learn about new things is by surrounding ourselves with people who’re smarter and more knowledgable than us. So, if that’s how you feel, it means you’re in the right place!

And that can get overwhelming.

But, asking earnest questions, even if they’ve been asked before or if you think it’s a stupid question, is one of the least problematic or disruptive things you can bring to a forum like this. It’s usually the people who’re know-it-all and argumentative that disturb a community, not the ones asking questions.

I hope we make this place amicable enough for people to feel free asking questions (though pro tip: maybe use the search function first ), and if you’re still not feeling courageous, feel free to post your questions over here:

Newcomers Corner — Got any questions? Ask here!

Are you newcomer to forums or to Buddhism? Got any questions regarding the forums or the EBTs and don’t know where to post? Ask away in this thread, to have your questions answered! If there’s an interesting Dhamma related question, or a forum related issue, more experienced users can repost them in appropriate places for you.

@Alex70

When I started here I felt very much the same. I thought people know more than me and that I shouldn’t ask or post.

Then you realised people don’t know more than you?

I jest, but there’s a bit of truth to it that shouldn’t be overlooked. Sometimes people can speak very authoritatively on a subject as to make themselves look knowledgeable. As a beginner, it can be confusing.

Luckily, our moderators are doing a wonderful job making sure there’s as few such people as possible, but, there’s always some problematic people to manage - just the nature of the beast, I suppose.

Usually, knowledge and wisdom has a quiet, assured humility to it. It’s not always the loudest voice in the room. One learns to navigate these things.

Closing off with some of my favorite verses from SNP 1.3 :

If you find an alert companion,
an attentive friend to live happily together,
then, overcoming all adversities,
wander with them, joyful and mindful.

If you find no alert companion,
an attentive friend to live happily together,
then, like a king who flees his conquered realm,
wander alone like a tusker in the wilds.

Clearly we praise the blessing of a friend,
it’s good to be with friends your equal or better.
but failing to find them, eating blamelessly,
live alone like a horned rhino.

Spend time with the learned
who have memorized the teachings,
an eloquent and uplifting friend.
When you understand the meanings
and have dispelled doubt,
live alone like a horned rhino.

[Jasudho]

Hi,

@BugzNZ

I wonder , as a lay person, whether I should take part in many of the discussions. Maybe I should just concentrate on the sutta’, practice, precepts, truths and paths.

May I suggest that both can be done and with curiosity and an open heart?

Since joining this forum I’ve learned much about the Dhamma, my practice, and the benefits of lively discussions even in the midst of differing viewpoints. I’m very grateful.

And importantly, as you indicated, this doesn’t in any way prevent us from also reading the suttas, cultivating metta, meditating…

We appreciate your presence and hope you feel comfortable here!

[Bion]

I think it’s important that each person considers whether something is worth saying. Some can be contributors, some may raise questions, some may have fantastic answers, and some may be lurkers or observers. I think there’s room for many kinds of members, and you shouldn’t feel bad or compare yourself to anyone else.

[Stacie]

Hi BugzNZ,

I feel the same way, sometimes. There’s so much here. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed, and sometimes I feel knowledgeable. But, my mom said to me one time, “There’s always someone better, there’s always someone worse.”

I haven’t felt any judgement here, and because I’m just learning, that’s helping me. It feels overwhelming sometimes to make this shift in my consciousness (ie: supertanker), but reading here and listening to dhamma, reading suttas, helps me feel connected with a larger community.

I’ve enjoyed reading your posts and questions, and also reading the replies from this community. I do a lot of searching here when I have questions. It’s a great way for me to focus my questions and bring me to specific suttas.

We’re all on the path. I am happy to have you and this community to help me along on it.