This discussion seems to have run its course and to be folding back on itself. Many thanks for all the thoughtful contributions on this important topic.
Could you comment more on this, and the connection with friendship.?
OK , In the context of loneliness , mind always gets agitated when it craves for the attached sense object’s, Attachment is the extension of craving, craving is the extension of desire. When we are attached to the social situations like party’s, gettogethers,meetups,dating,social media etc mind will be craving for more and more. Friendship is only a desire,like desire to have water, food, shelter or desire to meditate, follow Dhamma etc. But the tendency of attachment to the desired objects remains intact till we reach the final goal of nibbana. That is why Buddha said ultimately we have to abandon the Dhamma itself. We humans have natural longing for friendship because of defilement of fear,feeling of insecurity etc. As we practice vipassana it uproots these defilement s and we start feeling confident being alone . And the desire for friendship gradually fades away.
I had an interesting conversation with a friend recently. She said, “I have always felt lonely.”
I asked her if she felt lonely now and she frowned and said, “No.”
Then I told her that perhaps she was lonely for spiritual friends. She was quiet for a while and then laughed in agreement.
Anger can be removed and isn’t a permanent part of the mind. You’d think that anger is a vital emotion for survival but the NEFP can stop it’s generation so I don’t think there’s a evolutionary argument here…
For me it’s important to spend time with people I really connect with.
And I would guess that those connections have strong spiritual threads.
Definitely. I also like people who make me smile!
I like people who make me feel warm, too! But I don’t think that will taken to the end of suffering! It might take me a to relationship, which is likely to become complex, given enough time. That which I ‘like’ aren’t always ‘good for me’.
Fear and insecurity is the result of minds ignorance on true nature of existence i.e five aggrigates, which is impermanent, nonself and suffering. As we try to hold on something constantly changing fear and anxiety bound to make us insecure and the need for friendship raises to share our worries. As we practice vipassana imaginary self dissolves, experiantial wisdom strengthens, fear and anxiety gets [eradicated.Ultimately No self needs no friendship. Every problem on earth can be tracked down to imparmanance and nonself, for that Buddha says - we have to practice vipassana deligently, persistently and continuously through out our life without any doubt whatsoever. Each one of us will get the results for sure😀
This is so reassuring and welcoming for people who want to join the Sangha.
Maybe, attitudes like these should be more out there. At the moment, at least for me, Sangha is about keeping strict precepts and meditation, not much about the kind fellowship.
Hope Ajahn Brahm or Ajahn @Brahmali speak about this topic one day.
And, may I ask where you reside at? JK
End of the world…
You mean down under at Lokanta Vihara, Sydney?
Hi @chanakavp, nice to meet a new friend
Thanks for your comments. As for your question, yes, I’m at Lokanta Vihara in Sydney. If you’re ever in the area, please drop by - before the world ends!
I have that problem with ice-cream.
don’t blame it on the poor… !
She is a real temptress, that neapolitan…
Not so. Suffering is a ‘vital condition’ for faith, both for devout Catholics and EBT Buddhists. SN12.23
There is deep suffering among the faithful for what has happened and what is still happening regarding clerical misdeeds. It is a challenge, but one that leads to an increase in faith for the ‘devout’ in my view. Faith is in God, his church and the sacraments, not in the people who run it. They’re all corrupt like the rest of us (Arahants excluded!), and worthy of our friendship and compassion on that account.