In regards to specific tips you could use while meditating, MN20 provides five strategies along with helpful metaphors. I often rely on this.
We also had a discussion on this topic on Discourse here: When should we discourage choiceless awareness?
In regards to lay readings, if your experience involves any type of traumatic event, there is a book called “Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness: Practices for Safe and Transformative Healing” by David A. Treleaven. I’ve skimmed the book and have added it to my reading list, but wanted to share it with you as a consideration.
You are on an important journey. I often take solace in the fact that this is a gradual path, that we don’t need to have the expectation that we should transform overnight, and that the teachings and sangha offer a wealth of guidance and support which have withstood a 2500 years test of time. That being said, it is always helpful to engage with therapists if you feel you are not making progress or your past experiences are very difficult to process.