Mental problems and fakeness

The Watercooler
1

Even therapist observe that nowadays many patients really struggle with normal humane issues we all have to deal with, such as feelings of loneliness, fears, uncertainty, confusion about sexe or identity, feelings of being powerless, meaningslessness etc. People of all times have struggled with these very normal humane issues. But nowadays everything is seen as abnormal. It must be treated. It is abnormal to struggle with something. That seems to be the sign ot the days.

We mirror ourselves to people who seem always happy, without problems, who do not seem to struggle. And when we do stuggle, we think we have some major personal issue. But ofcourse everybody struggles. We are just overloaded with nonsense, a fake reality. That is the real problem. Not we but all this fakeness we are fed with.

We are just fed with nonsense day in day out. That is what causes a lot of mental issues. People are not really sick. They only think they are because they cannot meet up with the Glossy Person and the Glossy World. But that is not a problem.

We must, i believe, point to the fakeness of all this glossy nonsense. Shatter it. Demolish it. It is all nonsense and causes a lot of trouble.

I also feel we have a responsibility for ourselves. Stop this fake happiness, joy, gladness. It is all mere narcism. Like a buddhist must smile all day. Also this leads to the same problems. All this fakeness is just our idleness and always merely our own conceit. Nothing more.

I am sure, enlightment is a state of ultimate simplicity. In this simplicty one naturally shines. Not in some role as the happy buddhist or human. That is just idleness and narcism. Fake news.

All our fakeness will not help ourselves or others. For the wellbeing of others too, lets drop our fakeness, idleness. See this is as our holy task. It is for the wellbeing of ourselves and especially others too. All this conceit does not help anyone.
The moment we notice we are yet again faking, stop it. For the wellbeing of everybody, not only of yourself but especially also others.

2 Likes
2

I believe it is not difficult to feel how being conceited is like being not oneself.
Being conceited is like being undue, complex. It is normal humane to be conceited but it is clearly anatta, dukkha and anicca. I feel being conceited is really being burdened. I also notice quit a lot of conceit in me. Mana-anusaya is quit strong.
At least i have some awareness of it.

I think this is also why people get burned out, stressed, because they always feel they must meet the highest standard of nonsense. Sorry to use this words but i feel it is really true. Highest standards of nonsense are: I must be always friendly, always understanding, being always soothing, always giving people a good time, always enthousiastic, always positive, always happy, always giving attention etc.

This is also not what Buddha meant, i believe. It is not the purpose of Dhamma to fake it until you make it and become a machine who produces all the time habitually friendliness, warmth, enthousiasm etc. All nonsense. AI.

I see in my self the mind is really full of commands that are not really wholesome at all but only lead to fakeness, conceit, complexity and create a mess. The signless, dispassionate, uninclined, has not such commands.

The real threat to ourselves, others, this world is not climate change, AI, lack of resources, lack of therapist, but it all started when we have become fake and feel no resistance towards it, but even love it and embrace it. We really to much appreciate what is not truthful or pure in ourselves and others. And are not correcting it.

The problem lies in these inner commands we obey. Many are really not wholesome at all. Probably none of them. In a sense we need to become more a-social, meaning, not be such a slave to the world, and other people too.

It also takes courage to follow the Path to become sincere, upright, straight, noble, truthful, oneself, naked, empty, without commands, free. It is much easier to conform. I see i still do this a lot. I am not that courageous yet.

But fakeness does not help.

1 Like
3

I believe that the escape from suffering start by seeing that reality is not a story, and we ourselves are also not a story. I feel this is such an important insight.
In this sense i believe dhamma is a deeper way of healing then therapy.

Buddha pointed at the reality that is no story. When there is still not yet a conceiving of what is seen, heard, felt, known. Who or what are we without our stories?
Why do we hold on to stories?

Today we miss those people who show us the reality. That what is without narrative, no story. Biljons show us the domain of conceiving, stories, but who brings us home? Who makes us see what is real? Who brings us in contact with reality in
stead with stories?

The problem might be…we hold on to our stories, we do not want to drop them. We
have invested all our lifes in them. It feels who we are. This story is me, is who or what I am!

This is the meaning of sakkaya ditthi. The believe in all kinds of stories about ourselves, I am this, I am that. We see that as the Truth about ourselves. It all starts there. To see this is all not really true. Merely a constructed reality. Based upon grasping.

If we see that we ourselves are not a story, others are not a story, i feel we have a right tool to town down all these stories.

So, now you finally know all this :innocent:

2 Likes
4

I think this is correct. I also think that I have concerns with this particular ideal and gender performance in Buddhism.

2 Likes
5

Some more words about this, i do not mean that there is something wrong with not feeding tendencies that are unwholesome. But, in my society there is so much fakeness. People are only seemingly friendly, warm, interested, show concern etc. for some strategical reason and not because they really are friendly, concerned, compassionate. Investing in such is only investing in dishonesty. Dhamma is also not about faking it until you make it. Such is a lifestyle of pretending and constant lying and deceiving other people.

To be honest, i prefer that someone just is spontaneous angry with me, above someone who pretends friendliness because he wants to reborn in some higher world or wants merit and bright kamma or be a good buddhist, and is only for such egocentric reasons friendly to me. Isn’t it horror to live in such a crooked world that people always have some selfish reason for playing to be friendly, concerned, compassionate, understanding?

I am sure for this reason Buddha also distinguished the mundane path that is rooted in such a gameplan, still not based upon dispassion, purity. And he taught the supramundane noble Path that is free from such gameplan, strategies.

This is fundamental to the teachings but i have seen some do even denie it.
The noble path that is supramundane and also all the spiritual qualities are rooted in purity, in an egoless mind, not in a mind with a notion of me, mine and myself.
All what is still rooted in this mind with a perspective of me, mine, my self is mundane. “What is in it for me”…that is mundane noble path. “i will be and it will be mine”…is the mundane path. Such is not really pure.

True friendliness, love, compassion, wisdom are also not habits. But they have purity, egolessness as there base. They are no tendencies.

For my self i have seen that the mundane path does not lead to the end of suffering.
In fact, it contributes to it. It feeds it. It also creates a confused and crooked world.

They idea that one can become a truly noble person by conditioning oneself and shaping oneself into a noble person with such and such conditionings…
…oh my God, one cannot misunderstand the Dhamma more then that. That at least i understand.

6

Who is your God? Do you mean: oh my Buddha, or oh my Brahma?

7

Hi,

For my self i have seen that my actions based upon conceit and conceiving are not really pure. They might be dark or bright or mixed but not pure. I have also felt that in the end they do not contribute to the end of my own suffering or that of others.

Bright deeds may give bright result but also bright results cease. Of course it is very good to abandon dark actions and develop bright action but even better it is to make an end to bright and dark actions rooted in conceit and conceiving.

I am convinced that for our own welbeing and that of others, it is best to break with conceit and conceiving. Let go of this. One might make use of conceit and conceiving in a positive way, says the Buddha, but in the end one must break through that conceptual reality.

Or do you think it is otherwise?

I take Buddha as my teacher. I very much like that Buddha was not a preacher but a teacher. A Buddha does not dictate people how to live. He is beyond good and bad. That i see as most practical evidence of real love. Love is not judgemental. Love can be firm and love is not weak. Love will never give up someone. Never.

I think Maha Brahma is also a loving and compassionate being but has not broken yet with conceit and conceiving. But he wants to do good. He is a very beautiful worldy being for desiring good.

8

The sutta’s say it like this:

"And how, Ananda, does a bhikkhu who has a good friend, a good companion,
a good comrade, develop and cultivate the Noble Eightfold Path? Here, Ananda, a bhikkhu develops right view, which is based upon seclusion, dispassion, and cessation, maturing in release. He develops right intention . . . right speech
… right action … right livelihood … . right effort . … right mindfulness
. . . right concentration, which is based upon seclusion, dispassion, and cessation, maturing in release. It is in this way, Ananada, that a bhikkhu who has a good friend, a good companion, a good comrade, develops and cultivates the Noble Eightfold
Path. SN3.18

All thinking, speaking, acting based upon a sphere of me, mine, my self is not based upon dispassion. Because that sphere is due to passion.

The mundane noble path that is not based upon dispassion does also not mature in release but in bright vipaka. Maybe a health, long life, wealth, high rebirth etc. But not in release. It is based upon passion, ignorace, and not pure.

Therapy is also yet in the sphere of me, mine and my self. Very much. But it seems that certain pains, injuries, wounds, vulnerabilites make this sphere almost solid and needs to be treated first. I do not believe it literally needs healing but where there is some kind of vulnerability there tends to arise passion very easily.
Therapy can make one less extreme, as it were. Like me :blush:

9

Of course I think it’s otherwise, but that doesn’t mean I have any dispute with your understanding.

10

What exactly do you think is otherwise?

11

Just wanna say I love these :grin::

:mushroom: :sunflower:

12

:blush:

You know, in my country the Netherlands, peoples minds are full of worldy commands…“now i must say something friendly…now i must do this and that”
An overload of inner commands all the time.
It is all such a mess. Also in me. We have become so complicated. We think that it is for a good cause but it is not really.

We talk here about AI but we can better talk about are own artificial behaviour arising from our own artificial intelligence inside us: the inner commands, the programs, the conditionings arising,

Most strange is that we as humans so easily obey this artificial intelligence inside us, i feel. But i agree with the Buddha that in the end such is not for ones own and others wellbeing.

I feel, what the world needs is not more commands, not more rules, not better conditionings, but the simplicity, openess, naturally welcoming heart of someone without commands.

13

I guess any society has such an expectation. Even in a society that claims to be free, its command is: I ‘have to’ (appear to) be free as freedom is the most precious here.

I lived in a country full of traditions and expectations. Now I’m living in a ‘free’ society. But are we really free here? In fact, are we really free in this samsara?

Anyway, it’s a bit late at night to be philosophical. :grin:

Let’s us rejoice that we’ve found wise advice to walk a path that leads to happiness.

:mushroom: :sunflower:

1 Like