Are you new to the Forum?
Yes and no? I have been lurking without even an account for probably a year. I enjoy many of the discussions, but Iāve never been one to post online.
Do you read a lot and post seldom?
Yes, I think Iāve only posted anything on the internet three times in my life, and this will be my first post here, kind of my way of encouraging myself to post more.
I am a Buddhist by conviction and have been practicing for about a 1.5 years. Prior to being a Buddhist, I wouldāve described myself as an agnostic atheist. My father seemed to have a similar view, my mother and her family, around whom I was primarily raised, were Pentecostal Christians, but Christianity never took with me. I was quite averse to it and religion and spirituality in general, associating it with dogmatic beliefs, prejudice, and superstition.
I feel like I accidentally discovered the Dhamma, because i certainly was not looking for religion. I was struggling greatly with circumstances of my life and the general misery of the world. I kept thinking, in many ways this is probably one of the best times to live, especially since I am in the United States. So I decided to look to the past to see how people coped with the harshness of reality. I always had some affinity to stoic ideas, but never investigated the philosophy deeply, so I started there. The ideas were very inline with how Iād strived to live my life to that point but I was still suffering a lot, so I decided to investigate non western philosophy, and this led me to Taoism. I really liked Taoism, but was not sure how I could apply it to my life, and after talking to my sister about it, she had mentioned that it sounded similar to Buddhism. My only thoughts on Buddhism at this point was that it was āthe rebirth religionā. I had actually tried to look into it once before but with the aim of seeing how rebirth could be proven true, and I did not engage with the teachings. I also didnāt find the evidence satisfactory so I disregarded Buddhism. But after that conversation with my sister, I decided I should at least give it a fair look. On a road trip with my wife, I decided, on a whim, to watch a youtube video about zen from Alan Watts, and it really intrigued with me. I started exploring the teaching a lot more, mainly via Thich Nhat Hanh and the accesstoinsight website. I started a daily meditation practice and to study the different traditions of Buddhism. The EBT/Theravada perspective resonated with me the most and I decided to start investigating the Pali canon myself, and that is how I discovered this site and forum. Eventually I became convinced this was the path for me. After listening to lots of Dhamma talks from monastics in the Thai forest tradition with my wife, and having some really amazing heartfelt discussions, she also decided to take up the path.
I live in a Buddhist minority society (US), but there are a few Dhamma groups around, less so temples and monastics. I am gradually getting more involved with one near me that seems promising, but I am very much an introverted person, still, I should probably find a teacher. I do feel drawn to teach, I like to share my knowledge, but with 1.5 years of practice I donāt image I should be teaching anything anytime soon. I do have an interest in learning Pali, but there is another language I have been meaning to learn, so I canāt justify it just yet.