Dear visitors, readers, and members of SC discourse, particularly the Women/LGBT+ ones,
Some of you may remember me as a former moderator and regular poster on this forum.
I want to reach out today if you are reading this content and feeling hurt, isolated and traumatized by the repeated exposure to ridiculous and objectively harmful opinions expressed on this forum.
Firstly I want to congratulate the moderators and Bhante Sujato on their attempts to create and safe and welcoming environment here, I personally know how difficult that is and the amount of suffering just trying to do that creates.
Do you know why? Because it is impossible. If you are a minority in BUDDHISM - if you are a woman, LGBT+, or non-binary you will never find comfort here.
Harsh? Maybe. But let me tell you, it is the reason I left this forum and I am glad I did.
No one will be able to stop you from being exposed to the absurd and violently hurtful comments and opinions expressed here. I know you want someone to stand up for you. You want a great monastic to come out and tell you you are ok, “look here it is in the scriptures! You are valid and safe and welcome here.” That will never happen, and the longer you expect that to happen here the more hurt and disappointed you will become. let me repeat. THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. No one else is ever going to make you feel ok or good enough as a Buddhist. There’s a subtle deliciousness in hoping for that isn’t there? I’m sorry, but you must give that up and avoid the trash on this forum.
On the other hand, maybe you think that by being here you can change other people’s minds. You are a good and wise person after all. What does it matter if you are a woman or LGBT+?
Let me tell you, the rabbit hole of delusion and hatred goes deeper and deeper than you will ever know with the expanse of “random people on the internet”. Perhaps you will be the most demoralized of all as your attempts to do good only cause you more harm and pain at an exponential rate compared to you “helping” anyone.
But there is hope dear friend. It is in you. We are all uniquely equipped to find the Truth for ourselves and we must rely on ourselves (and any good friends we can find) to find that truth.
If you are one of the people repeatedly hurt by this forum, like myself, I encourage you to leave for good. There are many arguments about this, but try it and see. You are good enough. You can greater happiness and acceptance by yourself or with a real life sangha that supports you.
I mean no harm towards this forum, it’s creators or moderators. This is not a criticism. You are actually doing a great job. I have been in your shoes and have nothing but encouragement and admiraton for what you do.
But I am saying what I wish someone had told me - that this will never be a safe place for women who want actual equality and LGBT+ peoples, and if you WANT and EXPECT that, please try to leave or avoid coming here.
Now I, as a woman, have spoken, I’ll just wait for all the other women to now feel confident to criticize, disparage and “correct” me, and the men to tell me how it really is (”sweetheart”), but I will be leaving again and won’t reply, sorry! Mwahhhaha!