Erika, I personally have avoided wats where senior monastics have actively advocated against Bhikkhuni ordination. For me, it’s more than just a difference of opinion on a subject that has a good faith split of opinion. To me, the evidence in favor of the importance and Vinaya legality of Bhikkhuni ordinations is no longer seriously in question. Monks that still actively argue against giving women equal standing in the Sangha do not get my support (rather, I have written with some contempt for these monks) , and I tend to ignore their Dhamma talks as I feel that no matter the quality of the content of the talk, the quality of the heart and mind of the ajahn is suspect, to me.
Some wats that I have visited cannot actively advocate in favor of Bhikkhuni ordination due to the strong connections that some have with, for example, the Thai Sangha. In one case, a wat in the west with monastics that I deeply admire and respect kind of stayed silent on the issue, but in the actual wat, on the kitchen wall, there was an entire wall devoted to information and support for a local Bhikkhuni monastery. I believe these good and honorable monks were trying to walk a fine line between publicly risking offense from the Thai Sangha, and also actively supporting and encouraging their monastic sisters. I always felt their hearts and minds were in the right place, and I supported them.
I also feel that within any given wat, with some exceptions, you will find many monks that personally support Bhikkhuni ordination. Within these wats there might be a wealth of wisdom, compassion, and goodwill that would be a shame to miss, simply due to a single (critical) issue facing Theravada and Forest monasticism. Even in Thailand, I was wrong some years ago to kind of dismiss the Thai Sangha in a blanket fashion for not supporting Bhikkhunis, but I was corrected to appreciate and then understood that many monastics in Thailand support Bhikkhuni ordination, and do so more or less in a polite and discrete Thai way.
I’ve mentioned this anecdote before, but recall again an old story concerning Ajahn Chah. On one Buddha Day at WPP, the lay supporters all brought meal dana for the male monastics, and forgot about the Mae chee แม่ชี . Ajahn Chah had a senior Mae chee deliver the Dhamma talk that day, seemingly to send a strong message to the lay folk.