When a younger man, I was very enthusiastic about regular Buddhist practice. But in the last decade, even while meditating fairly regularly, I skipped away from retreats and regular Dhamma study and Sangha connection. I had a productive professional career, but some self-administered suffering arose from breaking the precepts. At age 69, I am re-doubling my efforts and applying myself with energy to return to the Buddha-Dhamma-Sangha as my North Star. But I carry deep regret for these lost years and know that’s not fruitful, also worrying I have woken up too late. But now is what I have. Any thoughts and insights are welcome. 
9 Likes
My favorite sutta on this topic is SN 42.8, the horn blower. After firmly establishing one’s ethics, it goes:
SN42.8:12.1:
That noble disciple is rid of desire, rid of ill will, unconfused, aware, and mindful. They meditate spreading a heart full of love to one direction, and to the second, and to the third, and to the fourth. In the same way above, below, across, everywhere, all around, they spread a heart full of love to the whole world—abundant, expansive, limitless, free of enmity and ill will.
Suppose there was a powerful horn blower. They’d easily make themselves heard in the four quarters.
In the same way, when the heart’s release by love has been developed and cultivated like this, any limited deeds they’ve done don’t remain or persist there.
Metta meditation can be very powerful—and don’t forget to develop metta for yourself. 
12 Likes
Welcome back to the path, enjoy your journey. 
3 Likes
Those thoughts of regret will fade if you continue to refrain from doing what caused those regrets and continue cultivating the path of Dhamma.
I agree with Ayya Sabbamitta about metta practice. You could also consider incorporating forgiveness as part of your metta practice. Forgiveness could be considered a branch of the tree of metta, and focusing on it specifically can be very powerful.
7 Likes
Hi,
So happy that you’ve chosen to return to Dhamma practice!
The past is gone. You, and all of us, only have the power to make skillful (kusala) choices now. They are never wasted.
You may also wish to cultivate and experience gratefulness. 
Gratefulness is uplifting and inspiring in many ways, especially when it’s experienced less in the head and more in the heart.
Among many other blessings in Kp5:
Respect and placidity,
contentment and gratitude,
and timely listening to the teaching:
this is the highest blessing.
11 Likes
Thank you. Yes, that is an apt sutta.
5 Likes
And thanks for these inspiring responses. Much appreciated.
5 Likes
Yeah. One thing that helps me is to remember how rare it is to practice the Dhamma and how beneficial even a little bit of practice is. That way you can stop comparing yourself to the theoretical perfect you and just be grateful you came across the Dhamma at all!
14 Likes