Don’t worry, it was just an attempt at humor. The moment has passed!
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Some Dhp favorites of mine:
The mind, hard to control,
Flighty—alighting where it wishes—
One does well to tame.
The disciplined mind brings happiness.
Dhp 35
Virtuous people always let go.
They don’t prattle about pleasures and desires.
Touched by happiness and then by suffering,
The sage shows no sign of being elated or depressed.
Dhp 83
Irrigators guide water;
Fletchers shape arrows;
Carpenters fashion wood;
The well-practiced tame themselves.
Dhp 145
Doing no evil,
Engaging in what’s skillful,
And purifying one’s mind:
This is the teaching of the buddhas.
Dhp 183
If one focuses on others’ faults
And constantly takes offense,
One’s own toxins flourish
And one is far from their destruction.
Dhp 253
One is not wise
Only because one speaks a lot.
One who is peaceful, without hate, and fearless
Is said to be wise.
Dhp 258
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Straight forward and gentle in speech,
Humble and not conceited.
SN 1.8
Contented and easily satisfied,
not busy with duties and frugal in their ways.
SN 1.8
Peaceful and calm and wise and skilful,
not proud and demanding in nature
SN 1.8
Let them not do the slightest thing that the wise would later reprove.
SN 1.8
Wishing in gladness and in safety: may all beings be happy.
SN 1.8
By not holding to false views, the pure hearted one,
having clarity of vision, is not born again into this womb.
SN 1.8
With a boundless heart should one cherish all living beings,
radiating kindness over the entire world
SN 1.8
(These are from the translation I am most familiar with)
One gives…because one wishes to equip and adorn one’s heart.
DN 33
That which is past is left behind
Unattained is the "yet-to-come."
But that which is present he discerns
MN 131
Monks, become my heirs of Dhamma, not heirs of material things.
MN 3
Quite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unwholesome states, I entered upon and abided in the first jhāna
MN 4
I recollected my manifold past lives
MN 4
With the divine eye, which is purified and surpasses the human, I saw beings passing away and reappearing
MN 4
I directly knew as it actually is: ‘This is suffering’
MN 4
I directly knew as it actually is: ‘This is the origin of suffering’
MN 4
I directly knew as it actually is: ‘This is the cessation of suffering’
MN 4
I directly knew as it actually is: ‘This is the way leading to the cessation of suffering.
MN 4
I directly knew as it actually is: ‘These are the taints’
MN 4
I directly knew as it actually is: ‘This is the origin of the taints’
MN 4
I directly knew as it actually is: ‘This is the cessation of the taints’;
MN 4
I directly knew as it actually is: ‘This is the way leading to the cessation of the taints.
MN 4
When I knew and saw thus, my mind was liberated from the taint of sensual desire, from the taint of being, and from the taint of ignorance.
MN 4
I directly knew
MN 4
Birth is destroyed, the holy life has been lived, what had to be done has been done, there is no more coming to any state of being
MN 4
When the mind is concentrated, pure, free from minor defilements, is malleable workable not disturbed, he directs the mind for the knowledge of previous births.
MN 76
When the mind is concentrated, pure, free from minor defilements malleable workable not disturbed, he directs the mind for the knowledge of the disappearing and appearing of beings.
MN 76
When the mind is concentrated, pure, free from minor defilements, malleable workable not disturbed, he directs the mind for the destruction of desires.
MN 76
I go to Master Gotama for refuge and to the Dhamma and to the Sangha…
MN 4
In what is seen there must be only what is seen…
Ud 1.10
…in what is heard there must be only what is heard…
Ud 1.10
…in what is sensed there must be only what is sensed…
Ud 1.10
…in what is cognized there must be only what is cognized.
Ud 1.10
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Also like:
As a pillar firmly planted in the earth
Is unshaken by winds from the four directions,
So too, I say, is the True Person
SN 2.1
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Some favorite trainings and self-exhortations from AN (I like to edit them to read in the first person):
I will strive for the relinquishment of all acquisitions.
AN 2.2
I will abandon crookedness, faults, and defects of the body, speech, and mind.
AN 3.15
I will have a keen desire to train in the higher virtuous behavior, in the higher mind, in the higher wisdom.
AN 3.81
Do I have any unwholesome qualities that haven’t been abandoned, which might become an obstacle if I were to die today?
AN 6.20
It might not be, and it might not be mine. It will not be; it will not be mine. (Too cryptic?)
AN 7.55
Nothing is worth holding to.
AN 7.61
Unwholesome states of longing and dejection will not flow in upon me.
AN 8.9
My mind will be firm and well-settled internally. Arisen bad unwholesome states will not obsess my mind.
AN 8.63
This is peaceful, this is sublime, that is, the stilling of all activities, the relinquishing of all acquisitions, the destruction of craving, dispassion, cessation, nibbana. (174 characters with spaces, but maybe worth bending the rule a bit for?)
AN 3.33 and many other suttas
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Dhammapada:
5. “Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal.”
6. “There are those who do not realize that one day we all must die. But those who do realize this settle their quarrels.”
63. “A fool who knows his foolishness is wise at least to that extent, but a fool who thinks himself wise is a fool indeed.”
81. “Just as a solid rock is not shaken by the storm, even so the wise are not affected by praise or blame.”
100. “Better than a thousand useless words is one useful word, hearing which one attains peace.”
103. “Though one may conquer a thousand times a thousand men in battle, yet he indeed is the noblest victor who conquers himself.”
146. “When this world is ever ablaze, why this laughter, why this jubilation? Shrouded in darkness, will you not see the light?”
183. “To avoid all evil, to cultivate good, and to cleanse one’s mind — this is the teaching of the Buddhas.”
222. “He who checks rising anger as a charioteer checks a rolling chariot, him I call a true charioteer. Others only hold the reins.”
258. “One is not wise because one speaks much. He who is peaceable, friendly and fearless is called wise.”
270. “He is not noble who injures living beings. He is called noble because he is harmless towards all living beings.”
276. “You yourselves must strive; the Buddhas only point the way. […]”
354. “The gift of Dhamma excels all gifts; the taste of the Dhamma excels all tastes; the delight in Dhamma excels all delights. […]”
367. “He who has no attachment whatsoever for the mind and body, who does not grieve for what he has not — he is truly called a monk.”
391. “He who does no evil in deed, word and thought, who is restrained in these three ways — him do I call a holy man.”
399. “He who without resentment endures abuse, beating and punishment; whose power, real might, is patience — him do I call a holy man.”
406. “He who is friendly amidst the hostile, peaceful amidst the violent, and unattached amidst the attached — him do I call a holy man.”
421. “He who clings to nothing of the past, present and future, who has no attachment and holds on to nothing — him do I call a holy man.”
“I do not see even one other thing that changes so quickly as the mind. It is not easy to give a simile for how quickly the mind changes.”
—Sūka Vagga (AN 1.48)
“Don’t be worried as you die. Death is painful for one who is worried. The Blessed One has criticized being worried at the time of death.”
—Nakulapitu Sutta (AN 6.16)
“Intention, I tell you, is kamma. Intending, one does kamma by way of body, speech, and intellect.”
—Nibbedhika Sutta (AN 6.63)
“Even if a monk is not skilled in the ways of the minds of others, he should train himself: ‘I will be skilled in reading my own mind.’”
—Sacitta Sutta (AN 10.51)
“The whole world is burning. The whole world is aflame. The whole world is blazing. The whole world is provoked.”
—Upacālā Sutta (SN 5.7)
“Why are you angry? Don’t be angry! Nonanger is better for you. It is to remove anger, conceit, and scorn, that the holy life is lived.”
—Tissa Sutta (SN 21.9)
“Our teacher teaches the subduing of passion & desire for form, feeling, perception, fabrications, and consciousness.”
—Devadaha Sutta (SN 22.2)
“Both formerly and now, it is only dukkha that I describe, and the cessation of dukkha.”
—Anurādha Sutta (SN 44.2)
“Whatever is subject to origination is all subject to cessation.”
—Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta (SN 56.11)
“Whatever [one] frequently thinks and ponders upon, that will become the inclination of his mind.”
—Dvedhāvitakka Sutta (MN 19)
“Nothing is worth adhering to.”
or
“All phenomena are unworthy of attachment.”
—Cūḷataṇhāsaṅkhaya Sutta (MN 37), also Pacalāyamāna Sutta (AN 7.61) and Dutiyaavijjāpahāna Sutta (SN 35.80)
“Sorrow, lamentation, pain, distress, & despair are born from one who is dear, come springing from one who is dear.”
—Piyajātika Sutta (MN 87)
“Just as the great ocean has one taste, the taste of salt, so this Dhamma and Discipline has one taste, the taste of freedom.”
—Uposatha Sutta (Ud 5.5)
“A mind that remains unshaken by the ups and the downs of the world, sorrowless, stainless and safe: This is the greatest good fortune.”
—Maṅgala Sutta (Snp 2.4)
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MN 29
It is this unshakeable deliverance of mind that is the goal of this holy life, its heartwood, and its end.
MN 140
One should not neglect wisdom, should preserve truth, should cultivate relinquishment, and should train for peace.
MN 82
‘[Life in] any world is unstable, it is swept away’
‘[Life in] any world has no shelter and no protector’
‘[Life in] any world has nothing of its own; one has to leave all and pass on’
‘[Life in] any world is incomplete, insatiate, the slave of craving’
Better is wisdom here than any wealth,
Since by wisdom one gains the final goal.
SN 2.26
It is in just this fathom-high body endowed with perception and
mind that I make known the world, and the cessation of the world.
Truly, the world-knower, the wise one,
Gone to the world’s end, fulfiller of the holy life, at peace,
Longs not for this world or another.
MN 19
Meditate, bhikkhus, do not delay or else you will regret it later. This is our instruction to you.
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He who having been heedless is heedless no more,
illuminates this world like the moon freed from clouds.
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Wow, this is going great, thanks so much to everyone! I’ll go through each one of these and while I won’t add them all, I’ll certainly be including many of them. 
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Oh…here’s another but I don’t know the reference…
“Whatever you think it is, it will always be something else.”
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And… from SN 22.59
“form is nonself”
“Feeling is nonself"
“Perception is nonself”
“Volitional formations are nonself”
“Consciousness is nonself”
“But because form is nonself, form leads to affliction, and it is not possible to have it of form: ‘Let my form be thus; let my form not be thus.’”
“But because feeling is nonself, feeling leads to affliction, and it is not possible to have it of feeling: ‘Let my feeling be thus; let my feeling not be thus.’”
“But because perception is nonself, perception leads to affliction, and it is not possible to have it of perception: ‘Let my perception be thus; let my perception not be thus.’”
“But because volitional formations are nonself, volitional formations lead to affliction, and it is not possible to have it of volitional formations: ‘Let my volitional formations be thus; let my volitional formations not be thus.’”
“But because consciousness is nonself, consciousness leads to affliction, and it is not possible to have it of consciousness: ‘Let my consciousness be thus; let my consciousness not be thus.”
Nice one. It’s from the Salla Sutta, Snp 3.8.
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Thanks Christopher, it’s a beautiful Sutta
MN 22
Misguided man, to whom have you ever known me to teach the Dhamma in that way?
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'I assert and proclaim a teaching which does not quarrel with the world’
MN18
'Whatever one frequently thinks and ponders, that will become the inclination of his mind’
MN19
'Luminous is the mind, but it is defiled by adventitious defilements’
AN1.49
'Insignificant is the loss of wealth. The worst thing to lose is wisdom’
AN1.76
'Just as even a trifling amount of feces is foul smelling, I do not praise even a trifling amount of existence’
AN1.328
'Just as the great ocean has one taste, the taste of salt, so too my Dhamma has one taste, the taste of freedom’
AN8.19
'They who live by following this path know victory wherever they go. Every place for them is safe’
Snp2.4
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Different translation here:
Just as a mother at the risk of life
loves and protects her child, her only child,
so one should cultivate this boundless love
to all that live in the whole universe—Snp1.8
And while one stands and while one sits
or when one lies down still free from drowsiness,
one should be intent on this mindfulness—
this is divine abiding here they say.Snp1.8
“Bhikkhus, develop concentration. A bhikkhu who is concentrated understands things as they really are. SN22.5
“'When this is, that is.
”'From the arising of this comes the arising of that. “'When this isn’t, that isn’t.
”'From the cessation of this comes the cessation of that. SN12.61
With metta
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SN 7.2
Again and again one is
born and dies.
Again and again one is
carried to the grave.
Gaining the path one
not born again
The wise are not born
again and again.
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Sa 2.2
The peacock, endowed with beautiful colors but cannot soar as high as the swan.
Beautiful outward appearance
may not equal the merit of
ending one’s defilements.
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Sa 2.51
pure faith in the three jewels
With still mind
not breaking the precepts
Should not called poor
But called wise and long-lived
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SN 7.5
Victory is to him,
who heals the mind,
knowing it.
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