I have never heard a Confucian say this. Real Confucianism is something that a person practises and internalises, not something that is imposed on one by society. It is not possible to be a Confucian simply by living in a particular social or political structure. I would recommend “Confucius from the Heart” by Yu Dan of Beijing Normal University as an excellent English language Confucian primer. It had been a best seller in China.
The goal of Confucianism is to become something: a jūn zǐ, or refined person. While normally translated as “gentleman”, Yu Dan stress that this term is gender neutral. It is a cultivation of the heart. See Junzi - Wikipedia.
To be a refined person, one must have a particular quality, rén, i.e. benevolence, empathy or altruism. Confucius’s disciple, Mencius, believed in the innate goodness of humanity, which Mencius argued consisted of the fact that all normal adults would help a child who had fallen in a well- we all have sprouts of goodness. Nurturing these “sprouts of goodness” is a theme in Mencius’ philosophy, which he develops as an education in altruism, i.e. rén.
The social aspects of Confucianism come from a basis of being a good person. Later Confucians, like Mencius, saw each of the five Confucian social relations as an opportunity for the cultivation of particular qualities. For example, affection between parents and children, uprightness between ruler and subjects, differentiation between husband and wife, precedence between siblings, and honesty between friends. Later, in the 19th century, this schema was altered to stress loyalty and filial piety to the state. There are different versions: and yes, Confucians are aware that there is also affection between couples.
Some time ago, I was given a bookmark with a quote in classical Chinese from “The Imperial Standard for Governing the World”. It stated that if family members don’t treat each other with respect, there will be no-one to help when the need arises. To me, that isn’t about social control as much as bringing our attention away from our own egotism to awareness of the needs of the needs of others and the consequences of selfishness.
A person who has fallen prey to ego is called a xiăorén, or petty person. The consequences of petty selfishness in Confucianism, a relentlessly secular philosophy, aren’t hell or damnation. They are just that a person condemns themselves to a self centred and socially impoverished life which is awkward and out of step with their moral inheritance as a human being- they lack lǐ (etiquette) and hé (harmony). When they find that in turn that is they themselves who need help, nobody is there.
I am not a Confucian myself. From time to time in history, the fake Confucian intellectual elite has persecuted Buddhism in Asia. But I personally think a world without any Confucian values would be lonely, cold and miserable.