The near enemy of compassion (sadness & karuna)

Q & A
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So, I think it’s in the commentary that sadness or grief is the near enemy of karuna/compassion.

I can see how this is true sometimes, like how white guilt often motivates people to avoid and not think about racism rather than addressing it. Yet it seems to me incredibly difficult to not have grief for people we can have compassion for.

I’m reflecting on Marcellus Williams who was executed today and feeling grief around it. I understand my sadness doesn’t really do anything but it also feels inextricable from my sense of wishing him well in his next life.

Can some more knowledgeable peeps please explain the ways grief is the near enemy? Ways to overcome grief while practicing karuna?

Thanks

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No sure answer by me. But I remember the Buddha’s timeouts when he went into seclusion for some days or weeks. Nobody knows what this was for and what he -possibly- worked out in that private retreats. I propose that you might consider that there’s some relation to the very point of your (last question in your) post…

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The way I understand this is that grief is a form of suffering, while compassion is seeing the suffering and wishing the other person well, and for more joyful circumstances. So with karuna you don’t experience suffering yourself. The danger with grief is acting on it and thinking you’re doing so out of compassion, when it’s really to end or escape your own suffering. So the intention would be tainted by delusion.

I think you’re already doing great in seeing that you’re suffering, how it’s related to your feeling of compassion and that they’re not the same thing. And that suffering in response to others’ suffering is not helpful or wholesome. The Buddha recommended we practice to replace unwholesome thoughts and feelings with wholesome ones. It starts with clearly seeing, and then acting with discernment based on that clear seeing.

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Good day, Hello,

“Karuna, when practiced in conjunction with wisdom, yields optimal results. Without wisdom, Karuna may lead to unintended distress.”

When we witness / hear someone/some being in misfortune, distress, or a sorry state, we are often moved to help and alleviate their suffering. This initial impulse is commendable.
However, it’s essential to acknowledge our own limitations through wisdom. We cannot alleviate the suffering of everyone, at all times, due to constraints such as limited resources, time, and material possessions."

Without Panna, one might ended up stressed up, hopelessness, and potentially ended up in depression.

Its is better for one utilizing Panna ( wisdom),convert those grief to positive energy samvegacitta-- which translate towards ACTION
Viriya ( energy", “diligence”, "enthusiasm) focusing on learning-practicing Dhamma in this lifetime.

How it can be done ?

1)By contemplating what is stated in Four Noble Truth. The Noble truth of suffering , ( Dukkha Ariya Sacca) where grief is part of Dukkha.

Question how grief is a near enemy ?
Grief itself is part of Dukkha , which is originated from Tanha ( SN 56.11)
thus grief itself is the near enemy that we need to eradicate.

HOW? by learning practicing the Noble eightfold path.
This is the wise practice, which gives vision and knowledge, and leads to peace( from grief), direct knowledge ( grief), awakening, and extinguishment leading towards Nibbana.

  1. Contemplation that you too has experienced such sorry state before.

For whatever misfortune scenes/sorry state you seen-heard, this too
happened to you before why ? because you too are blind,with Avijja (gnorance) wandering through samsara for very long time…, reference :Duggatasutta SN 15.11
Quote:

Mendicants, transmigration has no known beginning. No first point is found of sentient beings roaming and transmigrating, shrouded by ignorance and fettered by craving. When you see someone in a sorry state, in distress, you should conclude:

‘In all this long time, we too have undergone the same thing.’ Why is that? Transmigration has no known beginning. … This is quite enough for you to become disillusioned, dispassionate, and freed regarding all conditions.”

thus one has to invoke strength,determination to tell one self to move forward;;

Enough ( insert your own name) , its enough for me blind wandering around samsara, encountering endless grief, i shall made an effort in this lifetime to learn-practice Dhamma, lest i will regret it later.

or alternatively one can recalled AN 5.57 use it as contemplation material
3) Contemplating on Law of Karma

I am the owner of my deeds and heir to my deeds. Deeds are my womb, my relative, and my refuge.
‘Kammassakomhi, kammadāyādo kammayoni kammabandhu kammapaṭisaraṇo.

I shall be the heir of whatever deeds I do, whether good or bad.’
Yaṁ kammaṁ karissāmi—kalyāṇaṁ vā pāpakaṁ vā—

Thus such and such being, ( name) , creatures are in sorry state, miserable, they are the owner of their deed heir to their deeds, this sorry state are the fruit of their deed, ( Kamma Vipaka),
I shall give up bad conduct ,reduce it , i shall work on good conduct,expand it for my well being in this life time and the future.

Thus with Panna ( wisdom based on Right View Samma-Ditthi ) one can overcome grief while practicing karuna.

Mettacittena
Qzl

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Hi,

Thank you for sharing.

If we’re strongly affected by grief, there’s less bandwidth, so to speak, for the arising, cultivation, and manifestation of compassion.
This relates not only to Dhamma practice but with respect to human psychology.

So can we acknowledge our grief as an aspect of human life (before full awakening) while at the same time choosing to cultivate and practice what’s more beneficial to ourselves and others – especially with respect Right Effort and what is kusala, skillful and wholesome, in liberating the mind from the hindrances?
In other words, with respect to Right View, what conditions in terms of causality lead to freedom from dukkha?
Compassion does. What about when we’re in the grip of grief?

We may reflect: between grief and compassion which is supportive of liberation? Which is more rooted in self-view? Which supports the conditions for greater peace and freedom from dukkha for ourselves and others?

The Buddha taught that when we practice the four Brahmaviharas, including equanimity, they experientially balance each other, so that when faced with suffering and compassion arises it is balanced with equanimity.

If you haven’t read them already, you may be interested in The Sublime Attitudes by Ven. Thanissaro and Compassion and Emptiness in Early Buddhist Meditation by Ven. Anālayo.

:pray:

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These have been some helpful replies. I reflected on them after my meditation this morning and wrote this for the zine I’m working on:

“In the hours after Marcus Williams was murdered I experienced some grief. It’s something to know someone’s face, their name and their innocence and hope they might not be killed. Only to have confirmed the suspicion of the state’s evil upon his death. This grief is the near enemy of compassion, it motivates a kind of addictive sadness that supports identity; “I am the anarchist who grieves”. The next morning I put aside the grief to focus on the only action available to me, to practice metta for Marcus and dedicate merit for his next birth. Neither he nor I benefit from grief, my sorrow won’t help him in the next life and serves more significantly as a signifier of identity and group affiliation that is used as a replacement for action. Otherwise we might take action solely to satiate our grief, acting not out of compassion for others but out of selfishness to alleviate our own sorrow. Many a protest or solidarity camp is far more for the participants than those living amidst genocide. If all we did was cry, who would erect the barricades? If those barricades are placed more to alleviate our own grief than affect anything, we place them unskillfully and avoid doing what needs to be done. Tears are as filling as air and won’t substitute for a sandwich. Protests to soothe our need to do something do little to stop a munitions factory.”

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