Is there a general Sangha policy?
I probably shouldn’t say anything, because I don’t want to be the problem. But O well, here goes anyway. What I would like to hear is nuns saying: “Venerable, do I tell you how to keep your rules? Then please don’t tell me how to keep mine. I am a grown woman who can make up her own mind what is right and what is wrong. If I need your advice, I will ask for it.”
After making this post, i reconsidered, as it is not clear enough, but I will leave it as is, with the following expansion.
In the Patimokkha, it is a serious offence to make yourself unadmonishable, and the sanghadisesa rule uses similar wording to what I used above. But it is a dicey situation, and the contexts are not exactly the same.
It is one thing to admonish someone who you think is making a mistake or doing something wrong. It is quite another to lecture someone about how they should live their lives.
If I was living at Bodhinyana, for example, and the meal was running late, and i saw a monk continuing to eat after noon, I might remind them that noon had passed and it was time to finish. But I wouldn’t show up at a Chinese temple and start lecturing the monks there about not eating in the afternoon. Context matters; time and place matter.
It is one thing for a monk to express an opinion about a rule, to remind another monastic in an appropriate way when they are straying. But what we have is a situation where the monks, with zero basis in Vinaya, arrogate to themselves the right to arbitrate and interpret the Vinaya for the nuns.
The Vinaya itself is nuanced, and requires trust to work properly. An adviser for the nuns must be someone they like and trust; and it is quite acceptable to refuse admonition from someone you believe to be under the sway of the four biases—desire, anger, delusion, fear.
If a monk is dogmatically opposed to the very existence of bhikkhunis and/or samaneris—and don’t forget, the Thai “law” such as it is, forbids both—then I don’t see how they could be free of such biases. On the contrary, the whole narrative around this matter is, in my view, an expression of such unconscious impulses, which again was one of the themes of White Bones Red Rot Black Snakes.
There is another issue, which is worth bearing in mind if you ever find yourself in a situation with such a dogmatic monk. If he denies the existence of bhikkhunis/samaneris, then to him, you must be a layperson, and he has no rights at all under Vinaya to admonish you. Bear in mind that regarding other ordained people as laypeople is no rarity in modern Theravada. The whole of the Dhammayut order traditionally regards Mahanikaya monks such as myself as having an invalid ordination lineage and being basically samaneras. Theravada monks in general often treat Mahayana monks as not really ordained. So you have plenty of company!