I have been trying to find a definitive answer as to whether or not if Bhikkhus/Bhikkunis are permitted to visit their family at any time? I have only managed to find fragments where one who has gone forth may not stay overnight for three consecutive nights at a layperson’s house, or alternatively, one who has gone forth may only stay away from the Sangha for no more than 1 week.
Additionally, I have read that either before or after the Vassa period, Bhikkhus/Bhikkunis are allowed to visit their family members for up to seven days. I’ve read through the pātimokkha, but see nothing related specifically to family.
I am only familiar with the bhikkhu rules, so that is what I am talking about below. There are very learned people here who can explain the bhikkhuni rules. And I hope folks will feel free to correct any of my errors.
More specifically, a bhikkhu can only be lying down to greet the dawn under the same roof as an unordained person who is also laying down. So in theory if they were not lying down the rule would not apply.
For bhikkhus, at least, this is incorrect. There is no requirement (other than in a situation where they are undergoing a legal Vinaya procedure) that a bhikkhu ever be with other bhikkhus. You may be thinking of the vassana period. But even then, it’s not about being away from sangha, it’s about being away from the place one has declared as one’s rain residence. A bhikkhu could be the only monastic there.
That’s incorrect. Could you share where you read that? I mean, it’s kind of true if you count all time outside of vassa and don’t mean that they are not permitted more than seven days. Basically there is no Vinaya limit on amount of time.
As far as staying with or visiting family, the Vinaya offers nothing specific or exclusive to family. For those purposes they are simply non-ordained lay people.
The only thing I can think of is that is having a sick family member is one of the reasons to leave the vassana residence for less than seven days. You can read about that here. But that is unrelated to exactly how one would reside once they got there.
All that said, even if a bhikkhu adhered to the “lying down under the same roof” rule, most monasteries will have some sort of feeling about monastics beign away from the monastery to visit family. But that’s really not a vinaya issue.
Generally it will be discouraged for new bhikkhus to visit families too often for too long.
Oh, monastics visit their families all the time. In Sri Lanka, a monk would most likely stay at the local village temple if they needed to. Unless they were concerned with Vinaya, in which case it might (unfortunately) be easier to keep the Vinaya if they made arrangements on their family property.
For some monastics, visiting family might be dangerous in the sense that they get pulled back into lay life. For others, it might be a good reminder as to why they left it all behind.
As far as bhikkhuni vinaya, I understand the rules similar to how Bhante Snowbird has explained them.
There may be stricter interpretations of Sanghadisesa 3 about ‘spending the night alone’ or ‘travelling alone’. However, the way I understand this is about being in a lawless/wild place.
Thank you everyone for these clarifications/amendments.
I am a devout Theravada Buddhist and I am contemplating novice monkhood within the next 5 years in the UK (born and raised here). I had considered it many years before, but I was much too young and felt the need to experience life more before making such a huge commitment. I am moving abroad next month from the UK for a few years and mentioned my intentions to my family. They are concerned about the expectations of me being able to visit them from a monastery whether as a novice or eventually as an ordained Bhikkhu, although I have stipulated to them that they could come to a monastery to visit me if the need arises for them. So the question is more for their benefit than anything else.
In terms of visiting family before or after Vassa, I found these two articles that mention it,
" The day is called “Pavarana Day“, and Pavarana means ‘to invite’. In this instance it means to invite ones fellow monks and nuns to admonish oneself. After everyone is done admonishing each other forgiveness is given, thus one can say that Pavarana day is ‘forgiveness day’. The next morning many monks leave the temple to visit family or move to a new residence."
Oh, that’s just because they’ve been “locked up” for three months. Some monks don’t like to stay in one place so when vassa is over they take off. And of course they may have been putting off non-urgent business and so they have things to do.
I had assumed that your question related to ordination aspirations. To really know you will need to talk to whatever monastery you plan to ordain at. You can almost guarantee that after novice ordination you will be discouraged from visiting family. At what point after that visiting becomes an option will depend on the individual and the head monastic. If you ordain in Asia then travel back is much more complicated and so logistically it probably wouldn’t make sense to travel at the beginning. As well, going from a monastery in Asia to family home in UK will be a big shock and you will have to deal with tons of vinaya issues.
Dhammayut will likely be more strict and Mahanikaya (Ajahn Chah) will probably be more accommodating.
All that said, you won’t be the first aspirant who has family that wants to know if you will be able to visit. It’s probably one of the top questions people ask.
I offer support to a Theravada nun who travels here to spend three months at a time with her elderly mother. It’s within a retirement community so the meals are taken care of that way. She actually stays in a separate apartment that’s down the hall from her mother’s. So the guidance I’ve read so far in the thread seems to support this kind of flexibility for aging parents, for example. The nun is not a spring chicken herself but her mother keeps on living (and enjoying it, from what I can tell).
