This Loose Mind

It is not really difficult to see there is unwholesomeness, but to really abandon it, that is extremely diffcult, i feel. Because the mind is very much addicted to unwholesomeness. It is very easy to do something unwholesome. To do something good, in general, takes a lot of effort.

I feel it is staggering and frightening at the same time, how easily the mind adopts what is unwholesome and even sees it as its treasure and of great worth. It is also protecting what is unwholesome!

I feel there must also be a factor of love. One must also wish oneself well, as it were. Many people do not really feel this. They live with a deep sense of being wrong, a lot of feeling of guilt, negative judgements about themselves. I feel this is deeply rooted in our society and it may be overlooked on the spiritual Path.

There are also many negative judgements in us and our society about being peaceful, dispassionate, unburdened, no emotional involvement in whatever or whoever, being impartial, even being moral. Nobilty is seen as abnormal. It really is. If a Buddha would appear in the Netherlands, he would probably meet a lot of resistance.

These judgements are in us too. At least in me:-) Emotional involvement is seen as virtue, not as a cause of suffering and not as tanha and ignorance. Passion is seen as a beautiful quality and most of the time seen as an expression of love and care.

It is like the world and Dhamma are opposites in judging things. This schisma is also part of us. This is not easy to digest. The Dhamma is not that difficult, the course is not difficult to see, the teachings are not so difficult but this inner schisma makes it difficult. This wordly stream and judgements are part of us. Turning ones mind to Dhamma is not easy. Making Dhamma ones priority.

These are real obstacles. These judgements. It is really challenging to live in a world which does not appreciate Dhamma. This lack of apprecation is also inside us, oke me:-) I feel this is very normal and must never be seen as negative. It is very normal. Bbecause we are of the world, at least we also want to be. And we do want to be like others. We do not want to be different.

We are as is were cleft inside. I am very convinced that there is always a part of us not of this world and there is a part of us who is very of this world and wants to be of this world. Two Lords, Buddha and Mara. There is a part of us that really wants to be a wordling. There is a part of us that is allready pure.
We are cleft inside. Different kinds of longing and also knowlegde create inner schism.
What is our priority?

In buddhist tradtion there is also an acknowledgement that one needs to know what one wants and make a firm decision. I can see that.

This loose mind that is always mangled between the wordly stream and the stream, between Buddha and Mara.


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