There’s a paradox here? The ‘I’ - the sense of self - cannot really be that friend - why?
The sense of self - I-ness - is related to ‘sakaya ditthi’ (personality belief). This ‘I’ who is taken to be the ‘doer’, the entity with the shonky tool-kit, is a product of the imagination.
It’s a dependently originated phenomenal display, an appearance. It doesn’t inherently exist from its own side.
Through letting go we give up the project mentality. We cannot engineer freedom and liberation. It’s not an invention, a creation, the handywork of a ‘doer’. This perspective is ill-conceived.
Just let go and relax here and now and, repeat the process. It’s as easy as taking your next breath - AHHH
Sometimes we may think of the path as something like an IKEA kit - just follow the instruction book and everything will work out fine. We may think we need a better instruction book and better tools? It ain’t like that - is it?
The project approach works with many things, like learning how to play guitar or, building a house. It doesn’t work that way with the Dhamma.
The Dhamma works on us, not the other way round. When the Dhamma finishes it’s work we will be nobody - at all.
Relaxation in faith is an awakening factor. Investigation is an awakening factor. Investigate the doer
You cannot make a mirror by polishing a brick. You can’t make a silk purse of a sow’s👂
We know we are in the company of a friend when we sense their warmth and acceptance. They don’t keep a checklist and they don’t compare us with some imaginary ideal person.
We don’t need to be perfect! That’s an impossible ask that is doomed to repeated failure, regardless, of our tool-kit and our check-list? Just let go - it’s safe. No parachute, no ground!