Last night I didn’t sleep at all, I was staying up all night doing homework on computer. Our house is small enough that you can hardly sleep at all while I’m tying the keyboard. And that is what’s happened to my parents.
When the sun rises, they both wake up prepare for work, I ask my mom: “Do you feel sleepy?”, “Of course” she replied. After they both leave, I think: "What if they all die out of traffic accident because of me not giving them any sleep? This’s quite bad, I could have done better, from now on I won’t use the computer while they’re sleeping. " Then I continue: “One day I will have to face this, maybe today is the day. I still have grandmom to taking care of, cannot leave college just yet.”
Enough thinking, I go back to doing my homework, soon enough, I feel quite tired and want to take a nap. As I’ve been laid down, reality slowly mixes with the realm of dreams, I see 3 old person talking with each other. While talking, they quickly aging and fall right there dying, their body decompose and they’re all turn into bones, then dust, then nothing. This process happens only few seconds. A thought occur to me: “There’s nothing that last.”
At this moment, my mind suddenly become clear, like I was into a hyper-awareness mode or something, there is no background thought. I direct my mind to that experience, I see clearly that: at that moment, because of seeing impermanence, I become horrified and dispassion for the whole world, I remember the Buddha once said “There is nothing worth grasping”, it is true indeed.
Although my mind was clear but my body slowly building up the tiredness, so I decided to sleep. As I wake up, things get back to normal, although I remember what’s happened but the deep ‘feelings’ aren’t there anymore. I went to the computer continue my homework. A thought occur to me: “There’s nothing that permanent.”