183“Bhikkhus, a woman binds a man in eight ways. What eight? A woman binds a man by her form … by her smile … by her speech … by singing [197] … by weeping … by her appearance … by a present1668"" … by her touch.1669"" A woman binds a man in these eight ways. Those beings are thoroughly bound who are bound by touch.”1670""
AN 8.18 (8) Bondage (2)
184“Bhikkhus, a man binds a woman in eight ways. What eight? A man binds a woman by his form … by his smile … by his speech … by singing … by weeping … by his appearance … by a present … by his touch. A man binds a woman in these eight ways. Those beings are thoroughly bound who are bound by touch.”
Here’s the recommended alternative to bondage, from MN 66 (b.bodhi tr)
“Suppose, Udāyin, there were a poor, penniless, destitute man, and he had one dilapidated hovel open to the crows, not the best kind, and one dilapidated wicker bedstead, not the best kind, [451] and some grain and pumpkin seeds in a pot, not the best kind, and one hag of a wife, not the best kind. He might see a bhikkhu in a monastery park sitting in the shade of a tree, his hands and feet well washed after he had eaten a delicious meal, devoting himself to the higher mind. He might think: ‘How pleasant the recluse’s state is! How healthy the recluse’s state is! If only I could shave off my hair and beard, put on the yellow robe, and go forth from the home life into homelessness!’ But being unable to abandon his one dilapidated hovel open to the crows, not the best kind, and his one dilapidated wicker bedstead, not the best kind, and his grain and pumpkin seeds in a pot, not the best kind, and his hag of a wife, not the best kind, he is unable to shave off his hair and beard, put on the yellow robe, and go forth from the home life into homelessness. Now suppose someone said: ‘The tethers by which that man is tethered so that he cannot abandon his one dilapidated hovel…and his hag of a wife, not the best kind, and shave off his hair and beard, put on the yellow robe, and go forth from the home life into homelessness—for him those are a feeble, weak, rotting, coreless tether.’ Would he be speaking rightly?”
“No, venerable sir. The tethers by which that man is tethered so that he cannot abandon his one dilapidated hovel…and his hag of a wife, not the best kind, and shave off his hair and beard, put on the yellow robe, and go forth from the home life into homelessness—for him those are a strong, stout, tough, unrotting tether and a thick yoke.”
(1) Confident
“Bhikkhus, there are five powers of a woman. What are the five?
The power of beauty, the power of wealth, the power of relatives,
the power of sons, the power of virtue. These are the five powers
of a woman. When a woman possesses these five powers, she
dwells confident at home.”
26 (2) Having Won Over
“Bhikkhus, there are five powers of a woman…. (as above) …
When a woman possesses these five powers, she dwells at home
having won over her husband.”
27 (3) Under Her Control
“Bhikkhus, there are five powers of a woman…. (as above) …
When a woman possesses these five powers, she abides with her
husband under her control.”
(4) One
“Bhikkhus, when a man possesses one power, he abides with a
woman under his control. What is that one power? The power of authority. When a woman has been overcome by the power of
authority, neither the power of beauty can rescue her, nor the
power of wealth, nor the power of relatives, nor the power of
sons, nor the power of virtue.”
