Some people have messaged me worried about Luke’s anominity. Rest assured I changed that name. 
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I don’t get this…I really don’t. It’s just so wrong. I think I’ve been lucky in the type of Buddhist conditioning that I have been exposed to, because I can’t help being astounded when other people come and tell me that they have encountered this kind of “teaching”. This is not the way to approach kamma or rebirth. It does not fit into the framework of the 4 Noble Truths, particularly the last two.
I don’t think I was so mis-led. I thought it was funny and I think you are a smart guy. You seemed to be having fun with your own translation…that takes a bit of smarts to do. 
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I’d just like to share this here, because I feel this is what’s most needed (and what is already happening in this thread):
Maybe you can do exactly this with the young boy you used to be - be a good kalyanamitta to him! Just be with him, tell him that you know about all the terrible things he had to face, give him a paper tissue (or 2 or 3, if needed… ), show him that you feel with him. And all the rest as beautifully described by @anon29387788!
And don’t be in a rush - these things take time! 
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I do not believe it either. That is what prompted me to reveal what, IMO, actually is a terrible thing to have done. A thousand slanderings of the Buddha, IMO, would be a better thing to have done.
The poster of that thread is not the worse I have had on terms of mis-reading an internet persona. Indeed, it is not his fault that he misread me. I used to get “Venerable’d” on DhammaWheel rather regularly in PMs from people who wanted to ask me questions about the Dhamma.
When I referred to you above, it was simply to say that the limerick thread that you shared intersects with this, namely, the absurd notion that actual violence is nothing compared to simple and mere act of saying something like “The Buddha was not enlightened”. Or “trivializing the Dharma with silly verse”.
From my novice lay understanding, there is no making up for past actions, there is only acknowledging the offense, seeing and releasing attachment to it and having more restraint in the future. Moving forward with a restrained mind set on living stronger within the Dhamma is our goal no matter what kamma is playing out in these short rushing lives.
Luke knows of your regret and whatever he does with that knowledge is his right and it should be. Forgive you, not forgive you or something no one can predict. His path is his.
Regret and guilt weigh us down, clouding our thinking and disturbing our minds.
You aren’t alone and I have hope since you are on this path, you will find a place of wholesome acceptance for the actions of beings who have been gone a long long time.
With Metta
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Hi @Coemgenu, it takes a lot of bravery to reveal this kind of behavior- well done! We all make mistakes and it happens more the younger we are (sometimes). Regret after it has occurred has limited shelf life in Buddhism- we aren’t big on guilt, as I think you know. Guilt can lead to depression, low self confidence and that can lead to even more guilt. Guilt can feel like a moral thing to feel, but leads to unwholesome mental states when it becomes entrenched IMO. We have all committed the most heinous crimes, especially if we consider rebirth to be accurate. We cannot possibly atone for every single one of them. This is not to say somethings cannot be done.
Musavada veramin sikkha padam samadiyami - I refrain from telling untruths.
You will give countless number of beings, freedom from the damage that comes from lying forevermore.
AN10.92
As the sutta says, you will gain your freedom from that act of kindness.
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I guess my take on this is that it is simplistic to think that just because you do A, B is going to follow in the manner and severity we think it will. This is a sort of fatalism that has only a faint resemblance to the Dhamma.
As @sabbamitta said:
It’s too messy and complicated. Too influenced by myriad factors.
Though I imagine Intention plays a part. As that famous line from the Dhammapada states:
“Mind is the forerunner…”
At the end of the day, it’s hard to ascertain what our kamma will do out there in the wide world, who and how they will be impacted by the ripples we create. Personally, I don’t find these kinds of arguments - about which kamma is worse - useful. I find it better to go within, cultivate peace and metta, grow forgiveness, understanding and letting go. You know your Intentions best in both the instances you’ve mentioned - only you know what you meant to put out into the world and I think this is what will stay closest to you as a being; regardless of what the outer most ripples may do “out there”.
If I may also suggest, that it’s possible that you did some very good, kind, beautiful kamma somewhere along the way…the result of which may be all the words of love and support you’re receiving here. 
I think this thread is a lovely example of how acknowledgement can lead to loving kindness and hopefully release. Thank you again for your honesty, your investigation and questioning.
I guess it goes without saying: please just take what’s of use to you and leave the rest behind. 
With a lot of metta and all the very best wishes 
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You are already in a bit of hell. That’s the kamma.
My eastern european advice: Give him some money. A decent amount of money.
Not only will that be a pragmatic help for him, but it will show you really care more than anything else. Because whatever BS you might say, deep down you know you don’t really care that much if you can’t get yourself to give him the money. Words worth little. An apology with money attached will worth infinitelly more.
If you really care about the problem in a serious way, then give him a decent amount of money or a car. Not anything too expensive, just something decent, I don’t know 5-10k. That way, he will really see that you care about him and most importantly: you will actually care not just pretend to care. Not only will he forgive you but the kammic problem will disappear.
It might not cover the problems caused, but put yourself in place of the guy. He will say "this guy actually cared, he actually did an effort… "
If you can’t give it now, just put it on your mind to give it at a point when you can. In case you just give an apology, that would be good too but be careful that it is not inappropiate. Be careful how you do it or you might get the guy in jail again
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I missed something: How in the world did he get in jail for beating you ? For how long ?
If it was just some 1 week jail then I take back the 5-10k advice. Just an apology is more then enough. I though you got him for like 5 years in jail through some gruesome story like getting raped or something and that you’ve ruined his life. I don’t even undertand how he could get in jail for just beating and teasing. You wouldn’t even get your grade lowered in my country, let alone expelled or in jail. I had people in my class in trial with one another for brutal beatings and had no troubles at school despite being in trial lol. And of course the trials produced nothing. I had teachers get kids in hospital with nobody even considering it too important let alone get anyone in jail.
For how long was he in jail ?
Without lingering too long on details it was not for long at all (less than 24 hours), and this was very long ago. The lie in question being that there was heavy harassment for an extended period of time.
less than 24 hours!!! I think you’ve suffered long enough!
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It sound like you think you might be responsible for some negative conditions in his life beyond the jail time?
Jezus Christ. Just forget about it. I thought it’s something like 5 years in jail for false rape accusations or some monstruous stuff ruining that guy life. I didn’t understand how a guy like you could do that.
Since the topic is in lack of bad kammic stories, I’m gona post 2 stories from highschool to make you feel better about yourself. One of them regarding me, the other regarding a guy who did it to me. In both of them there was fast working kamma : D We’re lacking mobster related stories on buddhist forums anyway :)))
I grew up in the best neighbourhood of my city, yet somehow that was the most mobster neighbourghood of all and the city itself is most mobster in the country, nicknamed “little sicily”. Mob here is italian style, not mindless brutes, but still there is some violence due to the environment. “We are producs of our environemnt” as is written on jails in my country.
I was always a great guy and never did something unfair or pick on somebody, I always just reacted. But I was very vicious and never forgive a guy. Every time I had a problem I made sure I get the guy fixed.
It was only one time that something unfair happened. In 12 grade highschool, a guy gave me a slap and I managed to stalk him and catch him with a high level money-recoverer that had some mental problems that made him extremelly violent. I told the guy to only give him a slap or a pounch but he beat the hell out of him. Not the mention it happened in the middle of the city with 100 witnesses, 5 of them being girls from his classrom and the guy dad was a general in the police. That wasn’t that big of a problem, I could get away with legal problems and nobody goes to the police if they don’t get in hospital around here, but the guy was a decent guy as a person and he only gave me a slap. So I phoned and apologized to the him right after the incident and told him it wasn’t my fault, that is wasn’t fair and I never do unfair things, etc. and he understood and we got friends right after.
The thing is, I eventually got in problems with that same crazy guy that beat him up. An enemy of mine, the most evil guy from the block that always caused me problems ever since little, a terrible guy, got friends with the money-recoverer that helped me and started telling him and all the mob in the neighbourhood that I got super rich overnight, the he always sees me at the hotel, always sees me with 2 hookers at the same time in rented cars, etc. all kind of stupid stories like that to get me in troubles with the mob. (I was an online poker player so you nobody could really know how much I made). This of course got me into huge problems and there was some big trembeling over there. I eventually fixed the problems without paying any money. It was quite a big, big problem at the time, I don’t wish it to anybody, and it was all because of that injustice that I’ve done to that guy.
The evil guy did this cause I had a problem with him a couple of months before. I was waiting for a girl in my classroom to pick me up with a taxi and while waiting, I spoked a ciggarete with him cause I met him on the street. When the girl came, he started beating me up cause he always beat people up when there were girls around to embarras them, I was not the first. So I’ve put an alcoholic ex jail room-chief to beat him up and the guy kept that grudge for me for months.
And now the second, more interesting story: I went to collage in another city for the next 3 month right after getting rid of my problems with the mob, thinking a lot about fixing that evil guy from the block that caused me all these problems. I wanted his car fixed + a big beating. I got everything ready but when I came back, his car wasn’t there. I asked around and I found out that he ended up losing his parents apartment and car to the mob the month after he did that to me. He started borrowing money and didn’t even lose them at the casino or something, he just blew them up on hookers, hotels, rented cars, drugs, etc. - all the things he lied about me doing. Eventually he got in jail for stealing 150$ from an old lady in a supermaket just 1 more month after. The guy lost everything. And he was a perfect grade student at medicine, his dad was a doctor, he was at the best highschool in the city out of 32 highschools. (the highschool is determined by grades at a 8th grade exam here) Not only did he lose everything but he also got banned from the neighbourghood by the mob but he moved to another city anyway. The guy also payed 3 times more money than he borrowed for just 2 months of fun, very high interest rate.
When he lost his apartment and got banned from the neighbourhood by the mob, I couldn’be more happy. But when he got in jail, I sware I actually felt bad for him cause that was a little too much for a perfect grade student. I got friends even with this guy 1 month after cause already there was no point staying angry at him since it ended up bad for him. He got friends with those mob guys in the first place at least partially because of that well deserved beating from the jail room-chief that he got.
The good thing about people here is that we never keep a grudge. English are known for being very grudgefull.
Grudge-free. I have friends and family in the UK whom I have not spoken to for ten years over a small argument some drunken evening, the reason for which I cannot remember. But here in Romania, you can have a shout at your friends, girlfriend, boyfriend and colleagues, with a preposterous level of personal abuse and the next day, no one cares. The past is a joke. No one holds a grudge.
What I like about Romanians, what I don’t like about Romanians | Michael Bird Writer & Journalist
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No kidding!
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The best thing you can do is follow the example of Anguillamara and practice the teachings until you become an arahant. This will be the greatest blessing. Anguillamara had to deal with his kamma after his enlightenment, but it was small compared to if he had kept hurting others.
You made mistake, a bad one, but you were a child. I would inform the family and court of what you did and take the punishment to be honest and practice from wherever you are wholeheartedly, whether that be from jail or in your home.
Think about the best thing you could do to purify your mind and heart in a true, honest and meaningful way and do that.
We all make mistakes and we all deserve forgiveness for we are fallible.
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Rest assured, the individual was held for a small period of time in detention while being questioned, it was a very long time ago. That does not, however, make the lying, deceit, and revenge to get him there, however briefly, any more justified.
In relation to the general trajectory, IMO, something such as this is demonstrably worse in its effects on the real lives of real sentient beings than believing/claiming the Buddha said things that he did not (i.e. “slandering the Buddha”).
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I think it may be best to live and learn as you have and not worry about any potential kammic effects. The Buddha said this is one of the Imponderables that will drive us mad if we keep thinking about it.
The fact that you are following the Noble Eightfold Path now is such a blessing.
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The doodles need to be put in a book-form and printed - pronto!. They will be snapped-up like hot-cakes! They remind me of Russian-dolls - is that a coincidence? Maybe they could be made into little figures as-well! Good fund-raising potential for nuns monastery? If there are any tech-nerds with animation interests that can be inspired, they could be used to tell morality-tales and promote loving-kindness? A children’s book?
I think for me, two things come to mind here:
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What we can know
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The ripple effect
As others have said here, we can’t really know how our actions (kamma) will impact the world.
When a stone is thrown into a pond, the ripple closest to the stone probably has the greatest impact on the subsequent movement or journey of the stone itself.
Yet as the outward ripples meet other factors, other ripples from other stones, natural currents… etc… they may cause changes to the inner ripples too and therefore impact the stone. And the stone, being at the centre still, might not see how these outward ripples are impacting it.
The kamma-vipaka (result of past action) we feel, now or immediately after (from immediately past action) we’ve done something positive or negative is easily knowable. The inner ripple.
But how the ripples impact anything else they meet, we may never know.
Luke, his family and friends, the people in their lives, have probably been hurt. (Though their reactions to this hurt is their kamma, not yours). There are many factors in their lives that will mitigate or worsen this hurt. It’s up to them what they choose to focus on most.
Misrepsenting the Buddha, regardless of whether you know it to be a misrepresentation or not, will mean that something the Buddha may not have intended, may not have experienced or taught is sent out into the world. It means many people will miss out on hearing what the Buddha really intended to say. They miss out on learning how they work, how the process of their humanity exists and ends - how deep and broad kindness can be and how truly peaceful letting go can ever be.
Now if you don’t believe that the Buddha was anyone extraordinary - if you don’t believe in his Awakening then you won’t see this as such a big deal. It depends on your point of view.
If you do believe in his Awakening, you see the spread of the Dhamma as the chance for more and more people to never, ever do what Luke did to you or what you did to him. For more and more individuals and communities and societies to be loving instead of fighting; so more and more children don’t grow up as you did.
As those bigger ripples go outwards, there greater perimeter, impacts/touches more parts of the pond.
How many people are impacted by Luke’s pain. How many people are impacted by a misrepresentation of the teachings of a Fully Enlightened being?
Then if you take further those ripples. If you recognise that the kamma you experience now, the hellish mind state of now, is the inner most ripple, you can probably imagine a possibility that such vedana, such sankhara, continues it’s energetic momentum, even as your rupa khanda disintegrates. Particularly if you continue to activate that inner ripple by focusing on it and “making much of it” (as it says in some Suttas).
But, it is hard to know how these things impact. Perhaps Luke’s pain is something he lashes out from and hurts many others with. Perhaps his children and their children and everyone they know will be impacted. We don’t know.
Perhaps the people you told your little limerick to knew it was meant lightheartedly and so they didn’t really miss out on anything major. We don’t know.
Perhaps, your ideas about the Buddha’s teachings eventually lead people to find out for themselves and how this works best for them. Perhaps you’ll be instrumental in creating some beautiful beings. We don’t know.
Perhaps Luke’s family, friends or children will use any pain he may act out on them as grist for the mill in their own lives. Perhaps, like some of the children of abuse that I know, they will deliberately use these experiences to go in the opposite direction, in the direction of love and kindness. Perhaps this is your beautiful, unseen, gift to them. The flowers and fruits borne of the fertiliser/manure you gave Luke. We don’t know.
Again, these are just my reflections. Please take what’s of use. 
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