Foremost to thank and appreciate Ayya @Vimala for having the courage and evident sense of purpose in discussing these matters. It’s good to see such discussions especially in a compassionate, respectful, and considerate environment such as this we’re blessed with here in D&D [putting aside of crouse the unkind responses!].
I just want to point out something that seems absent in your thought, Ayya:
The majority of monks are not really far removed from where you are; that is, most monks are just as well troubled by various forms of difficulties associated with the monastic life, and these problems are as much serious and troublesome to them as the troubles you mentioned are to nuns. And i’m not saying this to downplay the significance of what you are talking about here, nor to deny that the experience is far more difficult to nuns than it is to monks - but i’m saying this to demonstrate that there is nothing that “monks” can do as an abstract category of people; most of us are powerless, dependent, and coping too; and we are in no position to “change” things even for our own benefit, (& monks disrobe because of such hardships too, all the time!). So I would ask you to put that in your consideration while pondering this issue. It is not an exclusive problem of gender, rather an inclusive problem of being conditioned humans living in a conditioned collective existence! With all its established cultures and institutions.
You will agree that whenever culture and institutionalism are involved, problems tend to be very difficult to solve. Yet, most of us, not out of mana or self-obsession (as some might think in this particular thread), but rather out of a sense of conscience, will experience such situations that we just can’t accept, or in relation to which we cannot remain silent. What is it that will stimulate the conscience in such a way will differ from one person to another, according to the experience and cultivation of each; but in all cases, we all have to come to terms with this agony, either by battling with it actively, outwardly, and publicly, or just inwardly and silently, or by transcending it altogether. It is very difficult for one person to tell another what is worth or not worth fighting for; or whether fighting for anything is right or wrong, or good or bad. Though it is notable that the “worldly/secular elimination of suffering and incorrectness” seems to have become the theme or zeitgeist of our present times, with groups of people on opposite moral and conceptual sides accusing and condemning each other, as more and more people are becoming avarice to suffering while at the same time less and less people endeavour to respond to it with any understanding or wisdom, but only through emotional reactionariness and delusional abstractions! What is sure however is that life is exceedingly limited in duration; and whatever one may possibly accomplish by way of mundane achievement, that will not last. There has never been, and will never be, final mundane solutions to mundane problems! This is my conviction, and I believe it certainly applies to our monastic reality!
However this doesn’t mean to ignore problems or act as if they don’t exist; and that is why I appreciate very much threads like that here. I don’t know if what I just said is helpful or meaningful in anyway, I was only expressing myself. If I am to envisage solutions or advices, I could only find them in my own experience and not anywhere from without that; so please forgive me if they don’t seem to fit with what you think is moral, correct, or what works out for you.
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To make informed decisions in the first place, to examine what waters it is in which one is for about to wade, and, should one judges that it is clean, or unclean but fine, or unclean and not fine, or even that it is a rotten swamp - in whatever case, one’s subsequent venturing forward or withdrawing backward must be based on intuitive discernment, rather than the kind of hopes and dreams similar to those one develops, out of thin air, upon falling in love! It took me four years, four years of search and examination, before I finally found a suitable context of ordination. And mind you, it was not suitable or correct “in abstraction” or “in itself”, but only in so far as I judged that I will be personally able to manage it. And after all that caution and down-to-earth realism, I still suffered and was exposed to harm, but luckily with enough help from others and faith in myself, I moved on; and i’m here right now, and now I’m much more experienced and confident, and quite optimistic, in so far as my own renunciate life and experience is concerned. I have learnt that, so long I am able to evade such hardships that are overwhelming or destructively intense, this kind of coping is generally helpful, and it has contributed positively to my humbling and maturity. But what i’m trying to say is that one certainly should learn quickly to stop being “surprised” at the various hardships along the path; this is the only way one can respond to them with wisdom and equanimity, I believe. Here’s a renunciate motto: Expect all hardships and their advent becomes equal to their absence!!
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The greatest lesson I learnt however is that the good monastics I met, and many they are, respond to such institutional or cultural problems over which they have no control not by battling with them, but by “helping each other” in every way they can, and in such a way that I have never experienced as a worldly person. To me, this is an effective and sufficient solution, a solution to be sought, a solution to be developed and expanded, a solution to make up for one’s monastic troubles, a solution to crush the ego and evoke humility, and a solution to bring tears from the eyes when later remembered!
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To bring the heart to expand freely and peacefully within the sphere of what is already possible, but not further into what should be possible! The words of Buddha resonate: “Become islands unto yourselves.” I pondered this utterance at length and I wondered why is it so effective in evoking the perception of calm, freedom and contentment in the hearts of listeners? It is the image of a secluded, faraway, unreachable “island”, surrounded by the vast ocean from all sides, standing in its place, not seeking to go here or there (there is no where to go, everywhere is just, ocean, samsara!), not minding the relentless waves as they bite on its edges; a picture of unbreakable stability and immutability, yet peaceful and humble, and wise, the island stands there, extended, peacefully and freely, just within that scope of what makes its free and peaceful existence possible, but no further!
I believe this is the finest description of renunciation, I believe it applies with perfect equality to man and woman, and I believe the wise words of Venerable Sariputta apply today just as they did back then:
Pabbajjā kho, āvuso, imasmiṃ dhammavinaye dukkarā.
Pabbajitena kho, āvuso, abhirati dukkarā.