I forget the exact wording (hence why i can’t find it despite numerous searches) but it’s when the buddha teaches certain people and they fall over ripping their hair out and beating their breast saying “this will be the death of me” or something to that effect. can’t find it for the “life of me.” thanks!
Maybe if you could give the context you would expect to see this in. Are you talking about the general reaction of grief, as in AN 4.184?
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Maybe MN22 is the one you are looking for?
“Idha, bhikkhu, ekaccassa evaṁ diṭṭhi hoti: ‘so loko so attā, so pecca bhavissāmi nicco dhuvo sassato avipariṇāmadhammo, sassatisamaṁ tatheva ṭhassāmī’ti. So suṇāti tathāgatassa vā tathāgatasāvakassa vā sabbesaṁ diṭṭhiṭṭhānādhiṭṭhānapariyuṭṭhānābhinivesānusayānaṁ samugghātāya sabbasaṅkhārasamathāya sabbūpadhipaṭinissaggāya taṇhākkhayāya virāgāya nirodhāya nibbānāya dhammaṁ desentassa. Tassa evaṁ hoti: ‘ucchijjissāmi nāmassu, vinassissāmi nāmassu, nassu nāma bhavissāmī’ti. So socati kilamati paridevati urattāḷiṁ kandati sammohaṁ āpajjati.
“It’s when someone has such a view: ‘The self and the cosmos are one and the same. After death I will be permanent, everlasting, eternal, imperishable, and will last forever and ever.’ They hear the Realized One or their disciple teaching Dhamma for the uprooting of all grounds, fixations, obsessions, insistences, and underlying tendencies regarding views; for the stilling of all activities, the letting go of all attachments, the ending of craving, fading away, cessation, extinguishment. They think, ‘Whoa, I’m going to be annihilated and destroyed! I won’t exist any more!’ They sorrow and wail and lament, beating their breast and falling into confusion.
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Also, there is Iti 49:
Kathañca, bhikkhave, atidhāvanti eke? Bhaveneva kho paneke aṭṭīyamānā harāyamānā jigucchamānā vibhavaṁ abhinandanti— yato kira, bho, ayaṁ attā kāyassa bhedā paraṁ maraṇā ucchijjati vinassati na hoti paraṁ maraṇā; etaṁ santaṁ etaṁ paṇītaṁ etaṁ yāthāvanti. Evaṁ kho, bhikkhave, atidhāvanti eke.
And how do some overreach? Some, becoming horrified, repelled, and disgusted with existence, delight in ending existence: ‘When this self is annihilated and destroyed when the body breaks up, and doesn’t exist after death: that is peaceful, that is sublime, that is reality.’ That is how some overreach.