Nibidda and the aspiration to awaken don’t result in a troubled state of mind.
Nibidda is a natural turning away from that which no longer catches our interest.
We need to be calm, clear and, untroubled to enter a state of reaction-free attention for extended periods of time. We need to be exactly where we are in every given moment to find the space and freedom which is not somewhere else - far away.
Instead of idealising and wasting time imagining that we need to be somewhere else - somewhere other than where we happen to be in this floating world. Would it not make more sense to take advantage of what is arising and passing away in our present situation?
Let’s pay attention to and, clearly comprehend, what we can here and now or, let this precious opportunity go to waste for no good reason.
If we feel an urgency to wake-up then why waste valuable time on imagining an ideal scenario? A place where we believe we will find what we need. Pigs might fly!
Why not celebrate the goodness in life as we live it. This is something we don’t have to wait for it’s not a matter of time. Let the future look after itself.
May the future sentient-beings who are the heirs of our present intentions be filled with gratitude. If we ordain in the future then we will benefit from practicing well as lay-people and vice versa.
Let go of the past and don’t idealise the future because you don’t know what it will be and you don’t know if you will be able to take full advantage of it even if it resembles your imaginary ideal.
Know each dhamma as it arises now - be sure of that!
Instead of being needy and insisting things go according to plan why not practice letting-go right now and now and …
We don’t have to attach to a conception of ourselves as hungry-ghosts in disguise. Why not lighten the and be open to surprise?