I bought the above-mentioned book last month due to my curiosity with counselling and I must say it is a really great book, so easy to read and understand.
I am up to the part of the book where he talks about “utilizing counselee’s suffering”, and I thought I would share with you some quotes which I thought were rather “dhammic” in nature.
“A human being will not change his or her personality pattern, when all is said and done, until forced to do so by suffering. Advice, persuasion, requests from the outside will effect only a temporary change in the cloak of the personality. And here is where mere rational understanding is shown to be inadequate, for to bring about a real change it takes a dynamic stronger than simply an abstract idea that another way would be ‘better’.”
"The human ego is a recalcitrant and stubborn affair; it fights off disturbance, as it very much fears the profound insecurity that comes when its style of life is shaken. In fact, many neurotic individuals prefer to endure the misery of their present situation than to risk the uncertainty that would come with change. "
“No matter how clearly the neurosis may be shown to be based on sheer falsehood, the patient will not give up until suffering becomes insupportable.”
“Fortunately the wheels of life do grind relentlessly on and bring a just portion of suffering as a penalty for every neurotic attitude.”
“When this misrery becomes so great that the inidvidual is willing to give up a wrong attitude, in fact to give up everything, he or she has arrived at that state of desperation which is a prerequisite for any cure at all.”
“People should then rejoice in suffering, strange as it sounds, for this is the sign of the availability of energy to transform their characters. Suffering is nature’s method of indicating a mistaken attitude or way of behaviour, and to the objective and nonegocentric person every moment of suffering is the oppurtunity for growth. In this sense we can be ‘glad we’re neurotic’ - glad, that is, if we are able to utilize suffering.”
I hope some of this is of some use to you.