I want to make friends so I can be kind to them. I recently learned that the only love I have felt was conditioned because I had a vested interest in those I loved. How can I love a stranger who I am conditioned not to like? I’m looking to learn metta. I am a total beginner in meditation. EBT anyone?
Welcome to the forum @Vattha. It’s great that you’ve asked for references to suttas, as that’s what we discuss here.
The obvious go-to one is the Metta Sutta, but I’m sure that other participants will have more suggestions
Thank you Gillian that was an excellent sutta, translated in a way that I had not read it. I have a question that may sound silly, but where do I find the sutta nipāta in the side bar?
Welcome to the forum, Vattha!
The Suttanipāta is part of the Khuddakanikāya, the “minor collection” in the Pali canon.
Click on “Sutta”, then “Minor”, then select “PLI (which stands for ‘Pali’) Khuddakanikāya”—or you click on the respective green dots behind these words—and then you see a list of all the collections in the Khuddakanikāya, and you can easily find the Suttanipāta.
Silliness in its best sense is something I’ve come to appreciate a lot!
It’s still better than the intention of wishing others ill will and harm!
That exactly what the N8FP is for! It will take you step by step so that you can do it, one day!
Meditation is a 2/7ths of the Noble eightfold path! So there’s a lot that can be done and needs to be done, even before getting to a cushion!
We actually do have the Amaravati translation of the Mettasutta on SuttaCentral:
The Mettasutta occurs twice in the Pali canon, at Snp 1.8 and at Kp 9. Why certain translations are in one place but not the other, and others are in both, I don’t know. Maybe Ayya @Vimala does?
My bad. (I find the SC search very difficult.)
Not that bad. Most people are not aware that the Mettasutta exists twice; and for me it is not a very long time that I am.
You can search suttas: snp1.8 in the SC search bar. Just make sure there’s no space between snp and 1.8.
A bit of guidance on friendship:
Seeing someone’s suffering builds immediate rapport. When suffering is seen, metta arises on its own. Oddly, this works with attractive as well as unattractive people. See and know the suffering:
in the seen will be merely the seen; in the heard will be merely the heard; in the thought will be merely the thought; in the known will be merely the known. --SN35.95
Some of my closest friends have been found in this way.
Thank you dhammadharo
This is very good. Thank you Mr lew