Unable to handle external irritants

The Watercooler
22

Extremely sorry to hear about your predicament, Saff.
Having visited India twice, both doing the Pilgrimage, the first in the company of Most Ven Ajahn Brahm Maha Thero & the 2nd by the special train that Indian Railways run from New Delhi, we are fully aware of the problem!
Here are some ways that we think you could look at the situation:
(A) Help from Buddhist Teachings as found in Sutta

Here are references to some fantastic Sutta from the Pali Cannon which we hope, could be of some use to you. You could read them right here in SuttaCentral:

  1. Dutiya Āghātapaáč­ivinaya Sutta {Getting Rid of Resentment (2nd) AN 5:162} :- This is a fantastic Sutta discoursed by Great Arahant Most Ven Sariputta Maha Thero. We learned this Sutta from Most Ven Ajahn Brahmali Maha Thero, during his very first Sutta Retreat that he conducted at Jhana Grove about 7 or 8 years ago. Since then, he has repeated this Sutta, many a times during his 9 days retreats, too. We wouldn’t go into any details as, you would be able to read & comprehend the contents & their practical applications. Here is the link:
    SuttaCentral

  2. It would also be useful to look at KakacĆ«pama Sutta MN 21, (The Simile of the Saw), in which the Lord Buddha gives the famous Simile of the Saw. Here is Ven Bhante Sujato’s English translation of just that paragraph containing the Simile which he (Bhante Sujato), called one of the most memorable similes found in the discourses:
    “Even if low-down bandits were to sever you, limb from limb, anyone who had a malevolent thought on that account would not be following my instructions.”
    The above is the Gold Standard of Metta, Karuna, Muditha & Upekkha as, laid down by the Lord Buddha for HIS disciples!
    Here is the link:
    SuttaCentral
    (B) Other ways that may suit your situation & based on Buddhist Teachings
    One way would be to see whether you could be of any assistance to those people who are “harassing” you. They may be street people who have no place to go. Even if they have a place to live/sleep, they may not have a place to go to toilet. If you could, it would be good to explore the possibility of building a small but, a functional toilet for them. True, one toilet will not solve the problem but, would be a good start. If you could find a sympathetic & ethical local community organisation then, it would be easier to start a project like that. If you do start a project to build a toilet for those people, your Dhamma friends may also start helping you financially to fund that project. There are number of organisations that you could turn for help. One such organisation is Buddhist Global Help headed by Ven Bhikkhu Bodhi.
    We are aware that they are doing a lot of good work in helping the poor in countries like India, Bangladesh, Burma etc. You could contact them at:
    https://www.buddhistglobalrelief.org/

    Another way would be to see whether you could help make a Communal Vege Garden. For such a project you may be able to obtain a small plot of land from the Local Government of the area. Then, you may be able to lead the project with some of those people who are living/peeing on the street.

Perhaps, you would know what sort of project would best suit the local conditions & the aspirations of people involved.
Someone has once said, ‘It is better to light a lamp rather than to complain on the darkness’. How could one light a lamp if, one doesn’t have even a wick, oil or even a dry stick to light the lamp! Perhaps what is in above are some of the ways to find a wick, oil and a match! You could be the flame!

C) You also mentioned of the lies in the media etc
You have found the answer, yourself! So, why not put them into practice!
If you could continue to stay away from the TV & print media that would be one of the best options. You could look at just the headlines on the internet news, just to get-by! That is what we do here, too! Even during the Covid pandemic, we haven’t switched on any of the TV channels but, we get the necessary information from the news headlines & then, we read what is relevant & important. That way, we could close the taps that bring in all unwanted news that give rise to Greed, Hatred & Delusion. As the Lord Buddha stated in many a Suttas, they are the roots that would give rise to thoughts in our meditation. When we close the taps, we could reduce the veracity of thoughts in our meditation.

D ) What if nothing works

If nothing works, as Gabriel suggested in his post, the best thing would be to look for a suitable location to live
Hope, the above would help.

All the best!

May we all find our own way to find our inner peace!

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23

As an anthropologist, I fully understand your frustration and even despair. I know India. Despite some romanticisations you can see on TV and books written by westerners, the reality is painful and difficult.

I can suggest a short reading by Ajahn Chah that has helped me a lot. Something that has helped me to progress a lot towards the limitation of those reactions in my mind.
As soon as you realise that your mind is creating your torment and not the external events in itself, you become in control of your world. The sense you get from this is liberating.

It’s your mind that goes to search for the annoyance, not the other way around!

A step further, and a very difficult one, is to try to use those annoying things as your teacher. They teach you to know your mind and how to untangle the sufferance that it creates.
Little by little, having lots of metta for yourself and your reactions, you can develop more stability.
Equanimity will free you from your annoying environment.

Indeed, we can move in different places or even in forests, but we will bring with us our mind wherever we go, trust me on this one, your mind will find something to torture you with.
I hope you find pece and joy in your mind. :pray:

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24

On my above post, yesterday, I have missed something important. The Sutta number for Dutiya Āghātapaáč­ivinaya Sutta {Getting Rid of Resentment) is AN 5:162. Sorry about the typo in missing the important book number, '5"! (Corrected the sutta number in the previous post, just a short while ago)

You may also read AN 5:161. This a relatively shorter Sutta that could be of much use, too.

Another thing that comes to mind is something that Most Ven Ajahn Brahm Maha Thero has said a number of times on meditating in busy & noisy environments. HE said to imagine that you are sitting inside a sound-proof bubble! Then the mind would get used to that idea & the sounds may not bother you. HE has done that with great success when joining a group meditation on the sidewalks of one of the busiest streets in Perth!
For us, it may not work at the first sitting but, could have beneficial results after a few sits. Why not give it a go!
As Gabi73 has mentioned, Ajahn has also repeated what Most Ven Ajahn Cha Maha Thero has taught His disciples how not to get disturbed by external sounds in meditation. He has said, “Sound doesn’t disturb you, you disturb the sound”! How does that happen? When we start a commentary in our mind about the sound & its effect, we actually disturb the sound & in turn, disturb our meditation!

So, dont despair! There are practical solutions to most problems!

With Metta,
Upasako

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25

Try to do something wise between waking up and going out. Ground, tonify and balance the mind in its own nature of stillness before taking on the world outside, is my suggestion.

Be well and still :slight_smile:

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26

My advice is that if you can end a bad external situation ( living situation, job, etc ) – then do it.

It will work much FASTER and more completely than trying to learn to adapt to it.

If you can move to a nicer part of India or out of India, start working on that now.

Beyond that, watch what you tell yourself. Watch your habitual reactions.

Start telling yourself different things and practice better reactions.

Absolutely, it is easier said than done and yes, it will take a LONG time.

However, if you can find a reasonably quiet time and decent air quality you can meditate.

My wish to you for the best of luck.

I have a very old friendship with an expat from India. I have heard similar things from her. I would be interested in visiting India someday, but certainly not in living there, especially not in the big cities.

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28

Hi, Saff. If you could let-go everything, you can accept everything.

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I don’t know if you are in touch with many other Buddhists in India, but it might help to make more connections there. In the future, maybe post-pandemic, you can do a retreat to help get more centered. Bhikkhu Bodhi took a trip to India, led meditation retreats there, and made a video about it. In the video he mentions some different Indian Buddhist groups. Here’s the link: "Walking Homeless in India" with Ven. Bhikkhu Bodhi (May 19, 2019. You might be able to find some more local support by getting in touch with the groups he mentions.

EDIT: I just scanned that video, and it seems that he was mostly interacting with the Mahabodhi Society, although he also visited the HQ of the Ambedkar Buddhist movement.

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30

Thanks for the responses. :slight_smile:

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31

I hope your general physical health is good(?) That would at least be something you could be grateful for
which might distract you from the external irritants, even just a little bit.

32

Unfortunately, no. I have had chronic diseases for a very long time - from childhood. I don’t have a clue what it’s like to be healthy.

bhavanirodho nibbānam (The cessation of existence is nibbāna) - this is the main thought in my mind when I manage to introspect a bit and brood on how it would be when the burden of birth, life, disease, decay and death is laid down once and for all


33

Thank you for posting your thoughts and feelings about your living situation. Funny thing, I had this conversation with a co-worker this morning.
A few years back, I attended our then weekly dhamma talk. I was voicing my thoughts about the rudeness and lack of courtesy that appears inherent in our automobile drivers. Bhante looked at me with compassion and said gently, “Love yourself.” Something clicked. It made sense. I was and am to focus on me.
I read your later reply regarding following the political system. I too became caught up in the turmoil regarding the recent election in the United States. I needed to shut down my social media intake because I noticed a change in my attitude. It was not for the better.
Remember what Ajahn Brahm says, “This too will pass.”

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34

SN46.70 suggests that maybe we’ve been looking at this on too small of a scale:

“Mendicants, when the perception of dissatisfaction with the whole world is developed and cultivated it’s very fruitful and beneficial. 
”

Then again, sometimes ‘The World’ is defined as the senses as in SN12.44.

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Perhaps some humour

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image1358×1393 134 KB

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