I find it quite difficult to get along with and feel truly at ease with anyone, including family members, to the extent that they do not “try to study, practice, and live their lives in accordance with the Dhamma-Vinaya as suitably as they can.”
This includes those who are born Buddhist, identify as Buddhist, interested in “cultural/sectarian” Buddhism, or even Buddhist in a sort of “faith-based” way (although this lattermost might not even be bad at all).
This makes looking for suitable mates difficult.
One possible solution that I’ve heard is not to make Buddhism a criteria - as long as partners respect each other’s religious beliefs, it should be okay.
This doesn’t seem true to me. Scientific evidence points to marriages with shared religious beliefs to be less likely to divorce and perhaps happier.
Even more importantly, the discourse by the Buddha regarding husband and wife being together in this lifetime and future lives, seems to explicitly require faith/trust in the Buddha for it to be sustained lifetime after lifetime.
A person who isn’t genuinely interested in Buddhism seems unlikely to proactively learn and apply the various discourses in the Dhamma-Vinaya in order to sustain a multi-lifetime marriage, - and I am unwilling to force Buddhism on anyone as I myself would not want any religion forced upon me.
Who is suitable for one person would likely not be suitable for another. Thus, it seems important to carefully choose suitable mates.
Even from a purely subjective standpoint, I find my attraction to be based primarily on the extent to which another “tries to study, practice, and live their lives in accordance with the Dhamma-Vinaya as suitably as they can.” Not only am I unwilling to compromise, I honestly just find myself losing interest otherwise.
Unfortunately, there doesn’t seem to be any dating or matrimony sites catering to the early Buddhist community. Visiting temples or religious sites for the explicit purpose of finding a mate seems unsuitable and inappropriate as well.
Any advice, suggestions, or recommendations on where or how to look for suitable mates (who are also interested in sustaining a relationship based squarely on the Dhamma-Vinaya)?