But is the mind constant angry, jalous, greedy, deluded, conceited? Is that what you can experientially confirm?
Let’s limit ourselves only to conceit - I mean conceit “I am”. And my answer is: yes I am dead certain that I am and that is constant experience. I may doubt it, but than since I am one questioning my existence, it comes to the same.
I may have no idea about what I am, but this is a problem on other level.
Nanamoli Thera:
For myself, I am certain that I cognize and that I am, but I am not certain what it is that I cognize, or what it is that I am.
Whether I am myself or not is quite open to doubt even in ordinary usage, since I can on one day be “quite myself,” on another “not quite myself,” and on another “Quite beside myself.” I am certain that when I see, that I see; but though I identify what I see (recognize it), I am not certain what it is that I see; hence the constant question “What is this that I see?” which is always liable to be reopened however well answered. I am certain that “I am doing” but my identification of “what I am doing is uncertain. True it (the other cases too) is, or seems, in pure immediacy, certain what I am doing; but any pure immediacy is only part of a wider immediacy, and so on in infinite hierarchy; so that what I am doing now, namely (certainly) writing this letter in one immediacy, is part of spending-a-day-at-Polgasduva,17 which is part of living-at-the-Hermitage, and so on, but ad infinitum—but N.B., the “infinite here” is “indefinite”, so while I am unquestionably certain that “I am doing”, I am only relatively certain what I am doing in any immediacy, and I am quite uncertain what it is that I am doing (in its self-identity), since that recedes always into the infinitely indefinite.
Ignorance and uncertainty go together, and as you see, if one looks carefully ontological uncertainty is a constant factor in ones own existence.
My experience is different. i am dead certain that there are many moment that this ego-conceit is not present. If i see something very clearly then it is that the notion ‘I am’ is arising and ceasing.
But you will never be able to see this while questioning your existence or while grasping at formations.
It is more that at certain moments one knows, one notices, that any notion of I am was absent while still awake, still functioning, still acting etc.
Also, Buddha teaches dosa and avijja, for example, exist as anusayas. Only when triggered they arise in a noticable way in the vinnana stream and, when grasped, they start influencing intentions, speech and actions. I think you do not believe mind is intrinsically angry (with dosa) but why would mind be always deluded?
According to Dhamma, cessation of conceit “I am” is defined as nibbana now and here, so it is always present in puthujana experience, as well as in sekha experience, even if not on reflexive level, then on pre-reflexive level.
So it seems either Lord Buddha is mistaken, or there is something definitely wrong in your understanding of your own experience.
Do notice that you even do not claim that from time to time you understand the Four Noble Truths, you claim much more, that from time to time you arrive at final liberation, which after all turns out to be not so final …
I do not claim anything. It is the experience of mine and many that, for example, when you are absorbed in some activity, all sense of I am is absent. There is no sense of ego or me.
But also in other situations one can notice that the notion I am is and was absent.
This only means that there is not constant grasping in the mind and that is very normal.
All arises. Also grapsing. The mind is never ever constant with grasping.
This is seeing PS. There is no such thing as a constant inherent greedy, hateful and deluded mind.
All defilements are always incoming. AN says so but also experience says.
This does not refer at all to the constant absence of defilements, which is called Nibbana.
That’s great, good luck
It is just very normal that from time to time there is no ego conceit at all while awake. And from time to time it is very very strong. And from time to time it is middle strong. This is all very normal and common human experiental knowledge. It is not at all a sign of realisation. It does not claim fruits.