Hey mister duck, we can be free whenever we wish to be free. 
‘Open for them are the doors to the Deathless, Let those with ears now show their faith.’
It’s a couple of months too late for Burns Night, but here’s my adapatation of Willie Sinclair o’ Kilwinning’s parody of Robert Burns’ Address tae a Haggis.
Address tae a Virus
Twa months ago we didnae ken,
Yer name or ocht aboot ye;
But lots o things hae changed frae then,
Ah really must salute ye.
Yer spreading rate is quite intense,
Yer feeding like a gannet;
Disruption caused is sae immense,
Ye’ve shaken oor wee planet.
Corona used tae be a beer,
They garnished it wi’ limes;
But noo it’s filled us awe wi’ fear,
These days are scary times.
Nae shakin hauns or peckin lips,
It’s whit they awe advise;
But scrub them weel, richt tae tha tips,
That’s hoo we’ll awe survive.
Just stay inside tha hoose, ye bide,
Nae sneakin oot fur strolls.
Just check tha lavvy ivery hoor
An’ stock-take your loo rolls.
Oor holidays hae been pit aff,
Noo that’s tha Jet2 patter;
Pit on yer thermals, hae a laugh
And paddle doon tha watter.
Canary Isles, no fur a while,
Nae need fur suntan cream;
An’ awe because o’ this wee bug
We ken tae be “19”.
Tha boredom surely will set in,
But hae a read or doodle;
Or plan yer menu fur tha month
Wi’ 95 pot noodles.
When these rin oot, just look aboot,
A change, it would be nice;
We’ve beans and pasta by tha ton
An’ twunty stane o’ rice.
So dinnae think ye’ll wipe us oot,
Aye, true, a few have died;
Bubonic, bird flu, and TB –
They came, they left, they tried.
Ye micht be gallus noo, ma freen,
As ye jump frae cup tae cup;
But when we git oor vaccine made,
Yer number will be up.
A tour de force. Well done!
For lyrics to Corona Virus Rhapsody, http://www.danajaybein.com/ There appear to be multiple renderings of the song springing up on the internet.
It also has lyrics for other covid-19 inspired song parodies
Every Hand You Shake , and Money from No One
Well, thank you. But really the credit all goes to Willie Sinclair. I just modified some of his spellings to align them with those that Burns himself would have used and changed a few words to make it more authentically Ayrshire and less Edinburgh.
Below are two recitals of it. I couldn’t find one in Burns’s Ayrshire accent (perhaps I’ll have a go at doing one myself), but there’s one by the saxophonist Tommy Smith (Edinburgh accent) and another by Maggie Burns, a resident in an old people’s home (West Lothian). Apparently one of the home’s staff members was trying to entertain the residents with a recital but got some of the pronunciations wrong, so Maggie interrupted and took over. 
If you need some encouragement during these tough times then you can always take some inspiration from the British.
Misery Bear’s Helpful Guide to Isolation (albeit not entirely in line with the Dhamma).
quarantine = no human right
no quarantine = no human left